American Horror Story

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Are you crying bloody tears over the demise of American Horror Story's second season? OK, that's a gross reference, but I'm trying to make up for the lack of disgusting stuff we experience on this week's big finale. However, what the episode lacks in gore, it makes up for tenfold in emotionally charged moments. We get closure on all the main characters — well, as much closure as a possible alien abduction can provide — and someone gets a bullet to the head.

The finale is a bit of a mixed bag for me, but I do love that the writers focus on Lana in modern day, recounting her story in preparation to receive her Kennedy Center Honors. She goes down memory lane, and we get to hear about what happens to all our favorite players. To find out their fates — and whether Lana survives Johnny Morgan's wrath — just read more.

School is almost out for American Horror Story: Asylum. With next week's season finale looming, the writers had some work to do, which makes me all the more impressed to report that "Continuum" is one of my favorite episodes since the season began. The story jumps around a bit, following — spoiler alert — the death of Bloody Face and the reemergence of the presumed-dead Alma and her baby. Briarcliff is in the rear view for Kit and Grace, and now that we're out of the mental ward, we're reminded that it's the swingin' '60s! Though in this case, it's less Austin Powers and more Sister Wives.

That's right. Seems Kit, Alma, and Grace find an "amicable" way to settle their situation, at least for a while. More on that in a bit. Flash forward and we encounter Lana at a book signing for her bestselling memoir. Lana's fulfilled her promise to expose Bloody Face, but she isn't quite the beacon of truth and morality that she promised Sister Jude she would be. Lace up your straightjackets and let's go through this week's most insane moments when you read more.

Well, that was gross. This week's episode of American Horror Story finally wraps up a main storyline, but it also contains the most vile thing I've ever seen on TV. We learn all about what drives modern-day Bloody Face to his murderous ways, but not before a nauseating (and more than a little traumatizing) scene with a pneumatic prostitute who . . . nurses him. Yes, it tops the list of things I can't unsee, but I won't cry over spilled milk.

Now that Sister Mary Eunice and Dr. Arden have met their fate, there's room to focus on the alien subplot. It seems that it's not so much their existence that matters as it is the baby they plant inside of Grace . . . and Alma? Let's break down the most insane moments of this week's episode when you read more.

You know when you're a kid on the playground, playing the name game with all your friends? Remember the giggles and the joviality? American Horror Story recalls that innocence for about three brief minutes this week. Of course, the remainder of the episode is filled with attempted exorcisms, labored births, and humans being burned alive. The uptick in madness might have to do with the countdown to the show's season finale — for those keeping score, there are only three episodes remaining in the season.

Truthfully, I'm getting a little restless. This episode has some great developments, but there is also a lot of empty threats and serious talks. There are so many stray story lines that I'll be surprised if they can tie all this up with a neat bow come the finale. Let's take a look at the most insane moments when you read more.

A lot has happened in the aftermath of last week's holiday-themed episode, with the most significant change being Sister Jude's major demotion. She wakes up shackled and restrained in a cell as a Briarcliff patient, in one of those "this is my worst nightmare realized" kind of scenes. Too bad for her, it's reality. You could call it karma, but I call it a setup. While things may be looking grim for Sister Jude, Lana and Kit get their first real chance at escaping Briarcliff, Bloody Face, and the electric chair.

But a silver lining is never what it seems on American Horror Story, and the gruesomeness doesn't let up this week, either. At least we get an explanation for the aliens (finally!), and it could be connected to that other seemingly rogue story line: Dr. Arden's Nazi experiments. Let's break down the most insane moments after the jump.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas at Briarcliff in the latest episode of American Horror Story. Instead of tinsel and ornaments, however, the asylum tree is strewn with dentures and hair bows with the hair still attached. And Santa? After the last two episodes introduced the little serial killer girl and the angel of death, "Unholy Night" gives us our newest creepy character, a family-murdering Saint Nick (played by a darkly magnetic Ian McShane) who ends up locked in a room with Sister Jude and a closet full of whips.

Whatever has been simmering inside Sister Mary Eunice finally boils over, and she gets even more blood on her hands. Dr. Arden seems to struggle with her lost innocence, and for the first time ever, we see him and Sister Jude working as an odd-couple team. But it wouldn't be an episode of American Horror Story without some jaw-dropping surprises. Let's break down the most insane moments after the jump.

You know how this season of American Horror Story started out a bit scattered, but then reigned it in a little in the past few weeks? Well, it's back to being kind of a hot mess. The aliens and Dr. Arden's Nazi story line get put on the back burner for "Dark Cousin" as Sister Jude and Sister Mary Eunice take center stage. Alien-probe victim Grace is cracking up, burning up, and bleeding out all in the first five minutes, and Lana escapes the clutches of Bloody Face, only to find herself in some familiar surroundings.

Frances Conroy (who played Moira last season) also shows up this week as the angel of death. While she's a welcome face, the characters are getting so skewed and the stories so muddled, it's hard to imagine they'll all be resolved. Let's go through the most insane moments after the jump.

Think you have daddy issues? Think again. This week's episode of American Horror Story makes everyone's mild psychoses look like child's play. Following last week's big reveal of Bloody Face's identity, Lana is finding her new home in his basement to be considerably worse than a subpar bed-and-breakfast. It's a shame, too, given all the work he must have put into replicating her bedroom (plus some chains and plastic drapes) in his murder chamber. Back at the farm, Briarcliff gets a temporary guest in the form of a creepy child. "The Origins of Monstrosity" is sadly lacking much of Kit, but we do get more on Sisters Jude and Mary Eunice, as well as some finite evidence on Dr. Arden's background.

Anyone still care about the Lovers? They're back — at least, one of them, anyway — and a wrench gets thrown into the time line as the "real" Bloody Face pops up in modern day. For those that want to relive all the disgusting details, I'm recounting the most insane moments of this week's episode after the jump.