Ellie Kemper's Son Loves Geese After His Mom Was Attacked by One, Because Kids Are Petty

Ellie Kemper's son has a favorite animal, and it's a bit of a touchy subject. In a recent virtual Late Show appearance, the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt actress shared how she was recently attacked by a goose while staying home with her family in St. Louis. Consequently, her 3-year-old, James, has developed an affinity for the winged menace in question.

The incident began when Ellie told James to slow down on his scooter at the park. Her shout, however, alerted a nearby goose. "I have to believe she was a mother goose, because this woman — this woman goose — spun her head around. She looked me straight in the eye," Ellie said. "She came sprinting toward me, then began to take flight and she clipped my face with her wing." After delivering the "total whack," the goose then came back around to do it again. Ellie added, "It was terrifying."

Now here's the kicker: after witnessing the attack, James has continued to declare his love for geese, even telling Ellie, "Mom, I really wish I weren't a person. I want to be a goose." Ellie added, "This is after seeing his mother be attacked by a goose, now he wants to be a goose." Ellie went on to tell her son, "You know, James, a goose attacked me. You were there watching." His response? "I know, mom, but he didn't get me." Kids, right? Enjoy the wild story starting at around 1:40 in the video above.