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Savvy Confessions: Asking For a Raise (It's Complicated)

Savvy Community — Sun, 20 May 2012 06:22:17 PDT

This post was submitted (anonymously, as always) to our Savvy Confessions group. Got any advice? Leave it in the comments.

Hi, fellow Savvy Confessors. I've got an issue I've been struggling with that I could seriously use some help on. I am in a job where I am paid to be "available." I am paid salary (based on an hourly rate at 40 hours a week) regardless of how little or how much I work. Some weeks I work four hours, and some weeks I work 40. Sometimes I have whole weeks off at a time - but only with extremely last-minute notice. Usually, I don't know my schedule until late the night before or early in the morning the day of.

There have been only three times since I started this job almost two years ago that I have gone over 40 hours, but I was compensated for overtime. I am on the books and paid weekly via direct deposit, but receive absolutely no benefits - health, dental, 401(k), etc. After 20 months, I am still on the same salary as when I started. For the most part, it's an amazing job - the actual work is really rewarding, my boss is really nice and friendly, and (as you can see with my fluctuating schedule) I have plenty of downtime to myself. All in all - a really awesome job!!

So what's the problem? Read on.

"I'm Afraid of Turning Into My Mom"

Tres Community — Tue, 15 May 2012 03:05:17 PDT

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Someone please help me. I have some family issues. Let me start off with my mom. I love my mom, but I can't stand the way she is. Her thoughts are very old fashioned. Let me give some examples. She said I can't move out until I'm married (which is totally not going to happen, I plan to move out when I'm 25 married or not). She doesn't let me or my brother go to clubs because according to her people put drugs in your drinks and start fights with you (I know both of these two things happen but I mean come on I know better) so once my brother went and she practically disowned him for like a week.

She shows me off everywhere saying that I could do this and that and that. She is very judgmental of other people, and when I don't agree with her she gets mad. She could find any excuse to fight with us, if a fly passes by she could pick a fight about it. Her facial expression is always tired, sad, angry. I'm tired of it, I love her but I can't stand her ways. I'm scared that I'm going to end up being like her. I know I could choose the way I live my life, but monkey see monkey do. I'm already starting to notice some things that I do that she does. But then again she's practically all I have in the country we live in.

I do have a brother and a stepfather but my stepfather prefers to be with his family and my brother prefers to be with his girlfriend's family. So I'm left alone with her, since I don't have a boyfriend or that many friends and I feel bad if I leave her alone.

Speaking of my brother I'm so disappointed in him because today we came back from a little gathering his girlfriend's family had. And oh my, he was so loving and social at the gathering and everybody loved him and knew him. Then I think of the times he's home and he's so different it's like he prefers to be with that other family. He doesn't like the way my mom is either. When he's home he is so distant from us and is out practically the whole day everyday with the girlfriend. He gets mad/irritated when we talk to him. But no when he's over with her family or just his girlfriend he's a completely different person and my stepdad does the same thing when his with his family.

So I'm left with my mom and her negative attitude, and I don't want to be like her I'm trying to see things I do the same as her and change them but ughhh it's all genetics and habitual behavior that it's practically now natural to act the way she does. I'm just so sad at this whole situation. I love spending time with my mom and love her to death and I'm thankful of everything she's done for us both, but her negative attitude, prohibitions and old fashioned thinking make me have resentment towards her. Then my brother, I have never seen him act so loving with us or any body of our family when they come to visit. Please help me on both situations. Thanks. Oh, by the way I'm 21 and he's 23.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

You're Fired! 20 Signs That a Pink Slip Is Coming

Wise Bread — Thu, 10 May 2012 10:54:53 PDT

If something feels off at the office, you may want to brace yourself for the worst. Wise Bread shares signs to look for when a pink slip is coming.

There are two types of employees. One has a good idea of what they do, who they are, and what position they play in the company. They are savvy. They know the score. They are under no delusions, and will no doubt leave for another job long before they are ever considered as cannon-fodder.

And then there's the other kind. The guy who could get Gandhi to hate him. The woman who spends most of her day chatting on the phone to friends or doing online shopping. Or the nice chap in sales who is completely oblivious that the recent merger means his job is now obsolete. They all have Ostrich Syndrome. They couldn't see a pink slip coming if it was 8ft tall and glowing in the dark, screaming "you're fired!"

You want to avoid being in that second category at all costs. So I've compiled a handy list. If you can answer yes to THREE or more of these questions, you may want to think about sprucing up your résumé and dry-cleaning your best interview attire.

1. Are you no longer in the loop about, well, anything?

This is a huge telltale sign. Suddenly you're finding out about company news from the cleaning lady or the new girl in accounting. If you were formally in the know about all things business related, but now suffer from "the company's doing what??!" disease, the writing is probably on the wall.

2. Did you recently screw up big-time?

We're not talking a minor faux pas here. Did you lose money on an account that was previously bulletproof? Oh dear. Were you caught having sex on the boss's desk with the boss's spouse? That's probably not a career-enhancing move. Unless you're a real dope, you know if you have screwed up. And if you know, HR knows. It may not be the final nail in your coffin, but it's a nail in the coffin nonetheless.

3. Are people avoiding you at all costs?

Eye contact is difficult to make with someone if you know his or her head's on the chopping block. Small talk is just as tough. It's best just to avoid that person altogether. So if people are no longer doing that fun "stop 'n' chat" in the hall, or the coffee room empties when you arrive, then guess what . . . you may be a marked man or woman.

Read on for more.

Sexy Jennifer Lopez Cheers Up Ryan Seacrest on an Emotional Idol Night

Katie Henry — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 10:28:27 PDT

Ryan Seacrest kicked off yesterday's episode of American Idol with a touching tribute to his close friend, Dick Clark. Dick Clark passed away yesterday at the age of 82, and Ryan, noticeably somber, said to the audience, "We can't begin tonight's show without acknowledging the passing of a television pioneer and my dear friend, Dick Clark. Without Dick, a show like this would not exist. He will be missed greatly." The energy level only rose from that point forward, with the contestants singing two songs each. The show's first hour was packed with post-millennium number one hits, followed by a second hour full of soulful classics.

Judges Randy Jackson, Jennifer Lopez, and Steven Tyler were on point with their critiques, but it wasn't what J Lo said, more what she wore, that got viewers attention. Jennifer entered in a Hervé Leger dress that seemed to put a smile on Ryan's face! Last week, Randy, Jennifer, and Steven used their only save following 16-year-old Jessica Sanchez's shocking elimination. Tonight, though, one of the remaining seven contestants will certainly be sent packing. It will be another exciting evening, featuring performances from LMFAO and previous Idol winner Kris Allen. Who do you think will be sent home this week?

The Biggest Reasons Your Ab Exercises Aren't Working

Prevention — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 04:25:40 PDT

We are pumped to share one of our fave stories from Prevention here on FitSugar!

If you're struggling to see your six-pack, you could be making one of these mistakes.

By Jenna Bergen, Prevention

As the weather warms and Spring break approaches, we're all forced to do that same rather scary thing: unearth the bathing suit and take a good, hard look in the mirror. I did it just last week and was relieved to see that my job as the fitness editor at Prevention had kept my abs from going too far south. Still, given all the hours I clock at the gym, I wouldn't mind seeing a little more definition. That's when I realized I needed to fine-tune my game. If you've been putting in the effort and still don't have the abs you're after, take heart - you're not alone. Here are four top slipups that mess with your six-pack - plus expert fixes to get you back on track.

Your Form Is Sloppy
"The wrong form can turn an effective move into one that won't do anything for you," says personal trainer Jessica Smith Gomez, costar of the 10 Minute Solution: Best Belly Blasters. A few of the most common mistakes: pulling on your neck (which allows your abs to slack off), using momentum rather than muscle strength (again, a freebie pass for the abs), sagging your hips in plank, and not keeping them pulled in during every move. "You must control your abdominal wall to get any real benefit," says Erin O'Brien, creator of Kristi Yamaguchi: Power Workout and Strong Body Ageless Body. Not sure how you're doing? Check your form in a mirror.

Keep reading for two more reasons your ab exercises aren't working!

What to Do If You Made a Mistake on Your Taxes

LearnVest — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 16:35:39 PDT

Not everyone's perfect. People make mistakes, and if you made a mistake on your taxes, don't fret. LearnVest gives advice on what you should do.

Woman makes mistake on tax return. Files an amendment. Sending off your completed tax return is an amazing feeling. Goodbye to all that work until next year!

That is, until you realize you’ve made a mistake.

Maybe an extra 1099 came in the mail. Or you read one of our many tax articles and found out you missed a huge credit that could save you a couple thou. Ummm, what next?

Mistakes happen. So the IRS has a special form just for you: the 1040X. It’s what you use to file an amended return.

Should I File an Amendment?

File an amendment if you:

Claimed a dependent you shouldn’t have, or now realize you can claim a dependent you didn’t
Need to change your income, like if you forgot to report some freelancing gigs or interest income
Need to add or eliminate credits or deductions
Need to change your personal exemptions
Need to report additional withholding

Read on for more.

5 Things to Do With Leftover Paint

Guest Writer — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 10:22:38 PDT

We're excited to present a post from guest writer, eco lifestyle expert, and all-around awesome guy Danny Seo. Today, he's here to offer some smart tips on how to use up the leftover housepaint you may be hoarding!

Of all the homes I've renovated, redecorated, and organized, if there is one thing that I see hoarded over and over again are cans of old paint. Stashed away in the hall closet, covered in dust in the garage, or hidden behind boxes in the basement, old paint is something we feel we have no choice but to hoard because we really have absolutely no idea what to do with it. In most communities, it's actually illegal to toss cans of paint in the household trash. And those rare collection days where you can drop it off with your household hazardous trash? Oversleep or miss it and you could face months (if not another year) of holding onto gallons of leftover primer.

Here are my top 5 ideas on what to do with leftover paint:

Stop overbuying. If you go into a paint store and guess-timate how much paint you need, most of us overbuy on purpose because we'd rather be safe than sorry when tackling the weekend paint job. The trick is to buy as close as possible to the exact amount you need. To do that, use an online paint calculator at Lowes.com that calculates the measurements of the room and tells you exactly how much paint - both primer and regular paint - down to the quart you'll need.
Save touch-up paint. Leftover paint should be saved for touch-ups when you need to repair dings and scratches on the wall. Leaving paint in their existing cans can be a recipe for disaster, since mold can grow inside and paint can easily go bad. Instead, repurpose air tight food containers for paint. Pour leftover paint inside the container, seal it closed with a tight fitting lid, and mark the outside in Sharpie pen what room it corresponds with. If you still have leftover paint, try this next tip . . .
Let it dry out. Leave cans of leftover unwanted paint open to air dry out. This can take a few days to a few weeks depending on the humidity and temperature it is outside. Leave them somewhere where children or wild animals can't get into them, like on a shelf in the garage. Once they are dry, the paint should pop out in a hard disc that can be safely tossed into the trash. The paint can itself can be added to your curbside recycling bin.

Make chalkboard paint. If you have lots of random cans of latex paint in a variety of colors, mix them all together in a large, clean bucket to make one uniform color. Add a few tablespoons of powdered grout (from the tile section at the home improvement store) and mix well. Voilà! Instant chalkboard paint.
Try FreeCycle. The Craiglist for free stuff connects people with unwanted stuff with people who need it. This is a last resort, but sometimes posting a notice that you have a few gallons of good quality leftover paint could attract someone to come claim it and use it. Offer to throw in some paint brushes, rollers, and a leftover tray or two, and you might incentivize it enough for someone to click reply and get your old paint stash.

Source: Flickr Users LOLren and Ben Demey

How to Make Your Own Makeup Remover

Michelle Phan — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 04:00:13 PDT

YouTube star and beauty guru Michelle Phan always has a new tip or two for making life a little easier. This week, Michelle tells us how we can create our own natural makeup remover:

Hi everyone,
Makeup remover doesn’t have to be expensive or come with a label. In fact, I actually prefer this gentle version that you can make at home on the cheap. It’s non-irritating, easy to make, inexpensive and highly effective.

Sublimely pretty Spring makeup

I recently uploaded a video on how to make this perfect makeup remover, but here is a step-by-step guide to have on hand when you try it out for yourself.

8 Things You Should Never Do When Leaving Your Job

Emily Co — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 14:08:12 PDT

I'm sure I wasn't the only one glued to the scathing op-ed piece that Greg Smith, a Goldman Sachs executive who just left the firm, wrote in The New York Times calling his former place of employment "toxic and destructive." One might argue that Smith is doing the public a service by pressuring the investment bank to step up to the plate and improve its moral standards. But in most circumstances, it's generally advisable not to air dirty laundry and grievances. Read on for eight things you shouldn't do when moving on from your job.

Act on impulse. If you're going to announce something publicly, you might want to wait a little to cool off. Oftentimes, emotion can cloud our decision-making and we end up doing things we regret. Give it a while to stew over and let it soak. If you still believe that making a certain move is the right decision in your case, you can do so in good confidence that you have thought things out carefully.

Give less than two weeks notice. It's advisable to give at least two weeks notice, and try not to screw the firm over when doing so. If your position is hard to fill, give your employer more time to find a replacement. You can ask your manager and HR to keep news of your departure private until it's closer to when you're leaving.

Read on for more.

Did Your Diet Change For Your Breastfeeding Baby?

BabyCenter — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 09:32:37 PDT

Here is another great post from our partners at BabyCenter - Kate Marsh Lord's article about breastfeeding diets.

I’ve been very lucky to successfully breastfeed my kids with very little complication. For example, I nursed my first two for a total of 32 months and never had to give up foods to pacify a sensitive baby belly. However, not even two weeks in with baby Max and I’m concerned that my food choices are aggravating his little tummy.

So far breastfeeding has been a relatively smooth experience with Max. My milk came in a day after he was born and he took to nursing right away. He barely lost any weight and at only six days old weighed 5 ounces more than his birth weight. However, the past couple days I’ve noticed that he seems to be uncomfortable and the only thing I can figure is that his belly is upset.

At least a couple times a day, Max fusses and grunts and pulls his little legs to his belly. He seems to struggle a bit and then passes gas or goes poop. He has several (or a million) dirty diapers a day and not all of them seem to cause him pain. And, thankfully, he doesn’t seem uncomfortable while feeding or even shortly afterwards. The only connection I can find with his discomfort is to occasional gas or bowel movements.

I hate to think that something I’m eating is causing him pain, so I’ll certainly make a sacrifice if it will help him to feel better. But the idea of vetting my entire diet is a little overwhelming. I’m hoping that this is just a little phase and that his baby belly will adjust.

Does Max’s belly ache sound like anything your little one has experienced? Did you have to give up certain foods while breastfeeding?

More great reads from BabyCenter:
Woman endures labor for 75 days
Is pink slime on your kid's lunch tray?
10 St. Patrick's Day treats
Judge awards $3 million in wrongful birth suit
7 best choices for baby's first utensils

Source: Flickr User c r z