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"Should I Stay or Should I Go?"

Tres Community — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 03:05:00 PST

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and two months. Since this year has started, I’ve been trying to decide what I need to do in regards to our relationship. My main issue is the minimal effort he has put into making things work. He has his own business, of which he needs one or two more people to assist. However, besides his sister helping on occasion, he does everything on his own. From the start, I understood, as well as accepted this. However, our dates have always been centered around his business or attending one friend’s parties. This averages out to me seeing him about once a month.

We have never gone out and spent an evening by ourselves, nor have we ever done anything “special.” When I ask him about this, he always just says he’s busy. His sister has said to both him and myself, that even if he’s busy, he has the type of business in which I can hang out at. After two big blow outs between us where he was blatantly disrespectful to me, I’m beginning to wonder about the future of our relationship. He used to call me at least once a day, and now three to four days will pass before he calls. I usually try to call him at least once a day, however, I’ve noticed that if I don’t call him, four days will pass before I hear anything from him.

So, over a week ago I called him and told him I don’t think it was going to work. He invited me over to talk about it and the conversation ended after I expressed my frustration with our current state of affairs. He told me that he loves me, he doesn’t want to lose me, and he promises that he is going to give me much more attention. He has promised this before, which I have pointed out, but he says that this time it’s really going to be different.

This past week, the only time we spoke was when I called. Of course, our conversations never even lasted past three minutes. This morning, I called him to let him know that I was going to be in town later, to help my cousin organize an upcoming charity event, and was wondering if he would like to get together in the evening. He was hesitant at first, and then said that he was going to be busy, but I could come over. He’s planning to have friends over.

This is how it’s been from the time we’ve met. I love him, but I’m increasingly feeling like I deserve more than this. I would like for us to spend time together, especially seeing as I have to drive an hour to see him. I do all the driving because he doesn’t drive. What should I do?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

A Reader Answers: Can Exercise Help With Migraines?

Fit Community — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 01:52:16 PST

FitSugar reader JessicaSmithTV wanted to know: can exercise help with migraines? She asked an expert and posted the answer in our Fit Community.

Today's post comes to us from special guest contributor and medical expert Paul Rizzoli, MD, Assistant Professor of Neurology at Harvard Medical School:

When you’re prone to migraines you’re forced to think through whether or not something you do will invite a headache into your life. Exercise is definitely one of those things. Should you skip a workout because you feel a migraine coming on? Or is it better to push through in the hopes a little sweat will make you feel better?

Most headache specialists recommend exercise and an increase in overall physical activity to their patients. However, to date, there’s skimpy evidence to support the idea that working out actually guards against migraine attacks. A few studies have shown that taking regular exercise can reduce the severity, though not the number of headaches.

Keep reading to see what studies say about exercise and migraine relief after the break!

"How Do I Tell My Depressed Co-Worker to Leave Me Alone?"

Tres Community — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 03:05:00 PST

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I work at a hospital and I met a cook at the cafeteria where I go to every day, inside the hospital, about two years ago. So, since I see him everyday and ask him to fix me a sandwich or whatever, we became friends. We talked every day a little bit about soccer or things like that, nothing too deep. About two months ago, I ended up adding him on Facebook, and he gave me his number to call him anytime I needed something to eat and didn't have time to wait or something like that (that's what he said). So, he started to go further, texting me occasionally, offering me chocolates or homemade sweets. Slowly, everybody at work started noticing that he had a crush on me, when I just thought he was being kind. I never liked him, he is so not my type.

One day he started asking me how long I'd been single. So, I asked what caused him to think that, because I'm in a relationship. (It's been six years, on and off, very complicated but that's a whole other story). He thought I was single because I had nothing about my boyfriend on Facebook (the last time we broke up was last May and I switched my relationship status and haven't changed it back to "in a relationship").

I started to suspect that he thought I was into him, when all I had previously thought we had a totally innocent friendship. Soon after this revelation, he told me that whenever I went to the cafeteria, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Of course, I was like WTF? He knew I had been in a serious relationship, and yet he thought I liked him and was trying to pursue me!

From then on, I kept my distance, keeping the conversations to a hello/goodbye only. Of course, he noticed and asked me what was up. I told him I didn't want him to misinterpret things; that I have a boyfriend who I love, and I have no plans to cheat on him. He said OK and apologized. The next day, I go to the cafeteria and I find he's not there. Same story the next day. He texts me and tells me that I'm not going to see him for a while, since everything that happened made him get depressed and that he was going through a crisis. He took a medical leave for two weeks, during which he texted and called me incessantly. I never answered his texts or calls.

When I finally saw him back at work, he ignored me. Soon after, though, he texted me saying that "he missed our friendship." I never answered him. I've really had it with this guy; I used to like our chats, but I certainly don't anymore. I want to tell him to stop texting me completely, but I don't know how to do it without him suffering from a "crisis." He is constantly telling me how bad he feels, and how he doesn't want to come to work anymore, and I just don't know what to do.

How can I tell him to leave me alone?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

Gwyneth Paltrow's Family Dinner and Bath Time

Rebecca M Gruber — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 08:34:32 PST

A family that bathes together stays together? I was so mesmerized by the images of an immaculately toned and coiffed Gwyneth Paltrow on the cover of Harper's Bazaar this week that I barely noticed her quotes about family life inside the Paltrow-Martin household in London. Within the article, the mom-of-two describes her family's evening routine and it seems that many mamas are taking issue with it. According to the magazine:

But it's Gwyneth who gives the children their bath-"we all get into the tub together"-and she's the one who cooks dinner for them before Apple and Moses go to bed at 8:00. It's a family dinner, unless she goes out with Chris to eat at her favorite Japanese restaurants in London or for seafood at the members-only Arts Club.

The issue is not that Gwyneth actually cooks her kids meals, but that she and the kids - Apple, 7, and Moses, 5 - all bathe together. There's no clear-cut answer as to when parents should stop bathing with their kids, or even when they should cover up in front of them. Tori Spelling recently wondered aloud if she needed to stop changing in front of her kids after her son commented on her rear end.

What do you think? Is there a specific age when mom needs to get out of her tots' bath?

The Vampire Diaries "Bringing Out the Dead": The Good, The Bad, and The Bloody

Marisa Tom — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 07:46:39 PST

After a week's worth of TVD reprieve, it's about time we got some answers - specifically, ones that have everything to do with our favorite Original vamp Elijah and then some. From the tragic twisted fate of Bill Forbes to the shocking discovery Elena makes at home, we're still trying to wrap our heads around everything that goes down. Meanwhile, Bonnie and her estranged mother Abby are tasked with opening the mysteriously sealed fifth coffin, and Damon and Stefan head to Klaus's sweet new pad for the ultimate dinner party showdown.

Like all things based in Mystic Falls, nothing is as it seems and nothing ever goes according to plan. Ready to review the good, the bad, and the bloody? Just keep reading.

"How Do I Get Over My Relationship With a Narcissist?"

Tres Community — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 03:05:00 PST

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have been in a relationship with a narcissist for over four years. I didn't realize he was a narcissist until I began to feel as if I was losing my mind about two years ago and sought out therapy. My therapist happened to specialize in narcissism abuse and told me this was what I was suffering from. The relationship, or lack thereof, began good, then got very bad and the cycle continued to get progressively worse and littered with emotional abuse.

My therapist moved about six months ago and my life seems like it has been in shambles since then. I have been on a new conquest for a new therapist, but to no avail. Instead, I have searched the internet for tips and surprisingly haven't found much.
A couple of weeks ago I suspected him of cheating. For example, he only wanted to have sex outside of his home, and if I did go to his home I noticed things were tidier than usual, he had an extra toothbrush, changed his mind about us being exclusive every other day, and gave me silent treatments if I gave any opinion on our situation.

Last night I headed over to his house after we had a fight about investing some money into a couple romance retreat. Once I realized there were additional hidden costs, I knew I couldn't afford my half. He didn't want to give me back my money and said I was backing out of things for us. Later that same night, he wanted to get sexual and I was hesitant so I said no. He begged, so I finally gave in. We began to get hot and heavy, but he didn't want to have sex with me in his house - he wanted to use my car! In the middle of having sex, he stopped to say he was no longer in the mood, leaving me alone in the car! I put on my clothes and I asked if I could at least go into his apartment to wash up and he said no. He finally agreed to let me use his basement bathroom to wash up, but it had no running water.
When I got home, we had a talk about exclusivity and he said he didn't know how he felt about it. We went back and forth for some time, but I just can't take it anymore! I sent him an email and a text message telling him how I felt about this whole ordeal and that I was done.

I'm so hurt. Narcissism abuse is just so different from anything I have ever experienced. I'm thinking of changing my number or getting away, but I just don't know what to do.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

5 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me Before I Started Running

Jenny Sugar — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 03:07:23 PST

When I first started running, I hated it. I suffered from blisters, unsupported bosoms, and irritated skin from seams, and it seemed insanely hard. I wish someone had sat me down and told me these basic tips and tricks to help smooth my transition from non-runner to runner. If you're just starting out on your own journey pounding the pavement or treadmill belt, here are things you should know about running.

It Gets Easier
As with most things, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. To strengthen your muscles, acclimate your heart and lungs, and increase your endurance, run at least three times a week. Start off with a doable distance such as two miles. Once that distance feels good, gradually increase your mileage. The key is to move at a comfortable pace for a reasonable amount of time. If you do too much too soon, you could end up with an injury or a deep hatred for the sport.

You Don't Have to Wear Two Sports Bras
If you're well-endowed, running can be painful. I wore two sports bras for the longest time because I couldn't find one that prevented the uncomfortable bounce. A cheap cotton sports bra from Target just won't do. You might have to spend $50 or more, but it's worth it when you only have to wear one bra you trust. Here are some sports bras to choose from.

Keep reading to find out other running tips for beginners.

Do Popular Weight-Loss Diets Work?

Shape — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 04:15:48 PST

We are excited to share one of our fave stories from Shape here on FitSugar.

There's a mountain of evidence that suggests that fad diets don't function as permanent weight-loss solutions. So why do we continue to flock toward them when we know they're not very effective? After rounding up the top 10 searched diet plans on Yahoo! and noticing that almost every single one was a fad diet (such as the Atkins Diet, or HCG Diet), we wanted to know more about why we're drawn to these popular diet plans. So we went to Holly Herrington, a Registered Dietitian at the Center for Lifestyle Medicine at the Northwestern University Medical Faculty Foundation to get her take on these plans and whether they really work for weight loss.

Find out what - if any - fad diets work after the break.

Brad, Blood and Honey, and Double Gosling - Highlights From the 2012 Golden Globe Nominations

Allie Merriam — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 05:49:07 PST

It was a big morning for the stars of the big and small screens with the announcement of the 2012 Golden Globe nominees. Woody Harrelson, Sofia Vergara, Rashida Jones, and Gerard Butler rose early for the ceremony in LA. Yesterday brought news of the lucky celebrities up for Screen Actors Guild Awards, and there was plenty of overlap. We'll see many of the same faces at both shows, from Brad Pitt to George Clooney.

On the TV front, Modern Family got multiple nods along with Boardwalk Empire, Game of Thrones, and New Girl! 30 Rock's Tina Fey and Parks and Recreations's Amy Poehler are up for best actress in a TV comedy vs. New Girl's Zooey Deschanel. Kate Winlset and her Mildred Pierce also garnered multiple notices.

The movie categories feature many of our favorite stars, from Ryan Gosling, who picked up two best actor nominations, to Michael Fassbender. Angelina Jolie will also be on hand for the show, since The Land of Blood and Honey is up for best foreign language film. The Help, Bridesmaids, and The Ides of March all got notice from the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. A sampling of the actors up for honors include:

BEST ACTOR, MUSICAL OR COMEDY
Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Brendan Gleeson, The Guard
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, 50/50
Ryan Gosling, Crazy, Stupid, Love
Owen Wilson, Midnight in Paris

BEST ACTOR, DRAMA
George Clooney, The Descendants
Leonardo DiCaprio, J. Edgar
Michael Fassbender, Shame
Ryan Gosling, The Ides of March
Brad Pitt, Moneyball

BEST ACTRESS, DRAMA
Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs
Viola David, The Help
Rooney Mara, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
Tilda Swinton, We Need to Talk About Kevin

BEST ACTRESS, MUSICAL OR COMEDY
Jodi Foster, Carnage
Charlize Theron, Young Adult
Kristen Wiig, Bridesmaids
Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn
Kate Winslet, Carnage

Check out the full list of 2012 Golden Globes nominees before the show airs on Jan. 12, 2012.

What Might Change For Cosmetic Surgery in 2012

Miriam Lacey — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 14:07:38 PST

Dr. Anthony Youn is one of the US's top-ranked cosmetic surgeons, and you've probably watched him on Rachael Ray or seen his memoir, In Stitches. But besides being one of the coolest doctors around, he's also an inexhaustible fount of knowledge on all things cosmetic and surgical. Here, Dr. Youn shares some big changes in the world of cosmetic surgery we might just see in 2012. Check out the interview after the jump.