"I'm not some ass clown in a green room. I'm a surfer, dude." Hmm.
Well, Matthew McConaughey may have just found the movie role of his lifetime. According to Variety, the oft-shirtless actor has signed on to star in Surfer Dude, a movie about — hang on to your bongos, people — "a soulful surfer in existential crisis."
Let's all just take a moment to let that sink in.