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"The Office" Recap, Episode 18: "Cocktails"

BuzzSugar — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 14:20:15 -0800

Last night's episode of "The Office" was packed with plot development (and "Office" bingo opportunities). Michael and Jan take their romance public at a party hosted by the CFO, where Jan asks Michael to sign a "love contract" and Jim is treated to a tour of Karen's ex-boyfriends (or so we think). Meanwhile, the rest of the Dunder-Mifflin staff got their drink on a local bar, where Creed admits he used to run a small fake I.D. business and Roy reveals his true jackass colors.

Even amid the drama, there were plenty of great lines and highlights. I'd love to share them all with you, but unfortunately, a major technical malfunction caused me to lose all of my notes. Thankfully, I managed to scrape together some memorable lines, but I need your help in remembering the best quotes. To see mine and to add your own, read more

Jim on why he doesn't want to attend the party:
“I don’t like talking paper in my spare time. (Or my work time.) And did I use the word 'pointless'?"
After Michael signs the love contract, Jan asks:
"What's that over the 'i'?"
Michael: "That's a heart."
Pondering the future, Jan imagines a "best case scenario," wherein she gets married and has kids, and a worse case scenario, in which she collapses on herself like a dying star.
Jan: "Why is this so hard? Um... that's what she said. Oh my God, what am I saying?"
"Oh good, you're up." - Dwight, to the CFO's kid, whose bedroom he sneaks into.
"There was nowhere to cuddle in the bathroom." - Michael to Jan, who is angry that he won't join her in a bathroom tryst.
Pondering the future, Michael tells Jan he wants kids and the picket fence and the ketchup fights and the giggles.

Now, tell me: What were you favorite quotes from last night's episode?

Source

"The Office" Recap: Episode 16, "Phyllis' Wedding"

BuzzSugar — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 11:49:12 -0800

In this week's "The Office," Phyllis and Bob Vance got married and everyone was invited. Michael got a second chance at being in a wedding, when Phyllis asked him to push her father's wheelchair down the aisle, but he still managed to make things awkward. Meanwhile, the Pam-Jim-Karen saga continued. Check out my highlights from the episode below.

Michael: "It's a big day for Phyllis, but it's an even bigger day for me. Employer of the bride!" He adds that since he's the one who pays Phyllis' salary, "It's like I'm paying for the wedding - which I am happy to do."
Pam: "Phyllis used the same invitations as Roy and me, so when I got the invitation, I thought I was being invited to my own wedding."
Dwight: "Hi Angela. You look like the Queen of England."
Dwight explains that the Shrutes have their own tradition: When getting married, they stand in their own graves. "The funerals are very romantic, but the weddings are a dreary affair."

For more great moments, read more

When Phyllis' father gets up from the wheelchair to walk her down the aisle, Michael turns to the camera and says, "This is bullshit."
Later, he says that pushing Phyllis' dad down the aisle was supposed to be the highlight of the wedding. "Now, the wedding has no highlight."
Angela: "Congratulations, Phyllis. You look lovely. Your dress is very white. So white it is burning my eyes."
Phyllis: "Thanks, Angela."
Michael says that the key to any good speech is in the opening, and if one doesn't work, he'll try a few more:
Michael says he will act as "tour guide" in the story of Phyllis and Bob, which is "one of the great, seemingly impossible love stories of our time."

Michael says the Webster's dictionary definition of wedding is the fusing of two metals with a hot torch. "Phyllis and Bob are two metals. Gold medals."

“You look at her, and she looks kinda matronly today. But back in high school, I swear, her nickname was Easy Rider.”
Dwight decides to identify wedding crashers and report them to Phyllis, because that way he doesn't have to get her a gift. In his investigation, Dwight kicks out elderly Uncle Al, who has dementia.
"Dude, get it together. I listened to you for half an hour and most of that stuff went right over my head." - Michael, to Uncle Al
After Toby's date catches the bridal bouquet, Toby does a celebratory gesture and exclaims, "TOBY!"
Michael: "They say your wedding goes by in such a flash, you don't even get to eat a piece of your own cake. Well I say that's crazy. I say let them eat cake. Margaret Thatcher said that. About marriage. Smart broad."

"The Office" Recap: Episode 14, "Ben Franklin"

BuzzSugar — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 13:39:22 -0800

This week's episode of "The Office" was fraught with sexual innuendo, as Michael tries to provide bachelor and bachelorette parties in honor of Phyllis' wedding. Among other things, we now know what Dwight looks like when wearing a bra - and what Michael looks like trying to remove Dwight's bra.

There were so many gems this week, so check out my list of highlights:

After giving himself an electric shock, Michael makes a video for a son he might have someday, saying, "I had an epiphery. Life is precious. And if I die, I want my son to know the dealio. The dealio of life."
"What's up, spinstahs?!" Michael, greeting the women who are getting ready for Phyllis' bridal shower.
Instead of a Guys Night Out, Michael says the bachelor party will be more of a Guys' Afternoon In, or a GAI (pronounced "gay"). "It's a bridal shower for guys. A guy shower. An hour-long shower with guys."

Many more great highlights, so read more

Todd Packer calms Michael's fear that a stripper will constitute as sexual harassment by telling him to get a male stripper for the women as well, making it "separate but equal." Michael says, "So that's what that means."
Instead of getting a male stripper, Jim calls the Scholastic Speakers of Pennsylvania and hires a Ben Franklin impersonator for Phyllis' bridal shower. Thinking he's still a stripper, Michael introduces "Ben Franklin" thusly:
"Who here is a history buff? Who's a fan of buff naked? Without further ado, the one, the only, the sexy, Mr. Benjamin Franklin!"
Michael: "Mr. Franklin, I would say you were probably one of the sexiest presidents ever."
Ben Franklin: "Well, actually, I never was president."
Michael, whispering: "Yes, but Ben Franklin was."
Jim: "Have you ever seen a stripper before?"
Dwight: "Yes. Jennifer Garner portrayed one on 'Alias.' It was one of her many aliases."
Jim: "Yeah, me neither."
When the stripper arrives, Jim and Dwight greet her in the parking lot. Michael texts Jim from inside the building, "Is she hot?"
Dwight, right in front of the woman: "Text back: 'Kind of.'"
Ben Franklin ties a cherry stem with his tongue, saying he can do that because he is a Renaissance Man.
Michael, having grilled steaks on the same George Foreman grill on which he burned his foot last season, asks the men who wants some "man meat."
Dwight: "I do! I want some man meat!"
Jim: "Michael, Dwight would like your man meat."
Michael: "Well then, my man meat he shall have."
Michael gets a lap dance from the stripper and comments, "Mmm... you smell nice. Like Tide."
"Well, Ben Franklin, you're really kind of a sleazebag." -Michael, after talking with Ben Franklin about his romantic problems
"I don't care what Jim says, that is not the real Ben Franklin. I am 99% sure." -Dwight
Michael: "So you don't want to end our relationship?"
Jan: "I'm closer to firing you."
Michael: "That is so sweet."
Dwight, testing the Ben Franklin impersonator: "Are you near-sighted or far-sighted?"
Ben Franklin: "Both. That's why I invented the bifocal."
Dwight lets out a frustrated scream.

Special Producer's Cut of "The Office" Free Online

BuzzSugar — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 07:15:14 -0800

NBC doesn't usually put full episodes of "The Office" online, but for this week's episode, they've done something even better. A special producer's cut of "The Return" is available free on the show's official site. The 28-minute video includes some great jokes that didn't make it to air, including Michael suggesting Oscar decorate the back of his car with rainbow stickers and Andy getting sent away to management training - anger management, that is. It's definitely worth a watch.

"The Office" Recap, Episode 12: "Traveling Salesmen"

BuzzSugar — Fri, 12 Jan 2007 13:49:53 -0800

As always, last night's episode of "The Office" was full of hilarious moments and great quotes. While Michael challenges everyone to a sales "Amazing Race," Andy tries to sabotage Dwight in his efforts to become Michael's right-hand man. Angela misses her deadline to hand in tax forms to the corporate office, so Dwight rushes to New York to hand the forms in for her. When questioned by a suspicious Michael, Dwight avoids 'fessing up to his relationship with Angela by resigning from Dunder Mifflin.

Here are some of my favorite moments from this week's episode:

"I'm very flattered. I'm his second choice after 'Pass.'" - Ryan, after Stanley chooses him as his teammate
On Karen and Phyllis' sales calls, Phyllis brings Karen to a beauty salon to get a makeover. In the car she tells Karen that Jim used to be hung up on Pam, adding, "You can pay me back later for the makeover."

For the rest of the best, read more

Some of Andy's best quotes:

"Well, guess what? I'm not falling in a chocolate river." - Using a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory reference to explain why he won't be like the other Stamford people who left the Scranton office.

"I find it very interesting, Michael, especially the part about Dwight going behind your back and being, like, a terrible person."

"How could there be a super-friend if the super-friend's superpower is always being late?" - On why Dwight, in the team of super-friends, is really a "super-dud."

"I really screwed it up. I Schruted it... that's something people say around the office. I Schruted it."

"Oompa, loompa, doo-pi-dee dawssum, Dwight is gone which is totally awesome."
Michael: "I want you to think about this company. I want you to think about it long and hard."
Dwight: "That's what she said."
Michael: "Don't you dare!"
Michael's policy on betraying him: "Fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice... strike three."
"One of my life goals was to die right here in my desk chair. And today... that dream shattered." - Dwight, upon resigning from Dunder Mifflin

Photos courtesy of NBC

Who Went to Sandals with Michael Scott?

BuzzSugar — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 16:51:13 -0800

Ever since last week's episode of "The Office," I've been wondering who took Michael up on his invitation to Sandals Jamaica after his girlfriend dumped him. Now, NBC has started airing a promo that might answer my question. In the clip, Pam points to a computer screen and says "Oh my god! Is that Jan?" Then a picture of a topless blonde on a lounge chair flashes onto the screen as Michael protests. If you missed it the first time, the one-hour holiday special airs again tonight. To find out who the mystery woman is, you'll have to wait until "The Office" comes back Jan. 4.

The Office Recap: "A Benihana Christmas"

BuzzSugar — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 12:28:13 -0800

In last night's one-hour holiday episode of "The Office," Michael learns that it's always bros before ho-ho-ho's. This was the perfect holiday episode, touching on all of the ongoing stories for each character. There's not too much drama that you're left crying (remember "Casino Night"?), and every joke is on-key for each of the characters.

The show opens with Dwight hauling in a dead goose and plopping it down on Pam's desk: "Don't worry, she's dead. No wait... he's dead. I accidentally ran over it. It's a Christmas miracle!" After some argument, Tobey convinces Dwight to put the goose in his car.

Michael enters, riding his old bike with a bow on it. After greeting Pam with, "I would like a slice of Christmas Pam, side of candied Pams and perhaps some Pam chops, with mint," Michael proceeds to place his old bike in the pile of gifts for needy children.

In his office, Michael reveals that he's bought tickets for a Sandals vacation in Jamaica for himself and his girlfriend, Carol. She soon comes into the office, however, and asks Michael why he Photoshopped his face over her ex-husband's face in an old family photo, creating a Christmas card featuring Carol, her kids, and Michael's face on Carol's ex's body. Jim calls this a "bold move." After some bumbling explanation on Michael's part, Carol breaks up with him.

Meanwhile, Pam tells Jim about her Christmas gift to him: She's been sending Dwight letters from "the CIA," and she tells Jim that he can be the one to decide what Dwight's "top-secret mission" should be. Jim says he thinks he shouldn't be doing these kinds of pranks anymore, "because of the promotion," though it's clear he also thinks he shouldn't be in cahoots with Pam when he's dating Karen. But that's only a taste of the drama, so read more

Michael, newly dumped, declares that Christmas is canceled, prompting the following exchange:

Stanley: "You can't cancel a holiday."
Michael: "Keep it up Stanley, and you'll lose New Year's."
Stanley: "What does that mean?"
Michael: "Jim, take New Year's away from Stanley."

Meanwhile, during the meeting for the Party Planning Committee, Angela shoots Karen's ideas and then kicks her out of the Committee. Feeling bad for Karen, Pam befriends her, and the two form their own Committee to Plan Parties. They tell everyone that they will be having a more fun party, with margaritas, karaoke, and a raffle. There are several shots of Jim looking nervous and uncomfortable about Karen and Pam are getting so chummy, which is oddly satisfying

Andy, in his continuous efforts to brownnose, takes Michael to Benihana's for a cheering-up lunch, and Jim and Dwight come alone. This is when Michael declares:

"Bros before ho's! Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to the ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you and that she was better than all the other ho's in the world, and then... then suddenly she is not your ho no mo'."

It's war of the holiday parties back at the office. Pam and Karen start their party 15 minutes earlier than Angela's is scheduled to begin. When Angela calls Dwight at Benihana's to see if she can get permission to start her party early, Dwight exhibits a rare moment of rebellion, and tells her to go ahead, without consulting Michael first. Pam lures Meredith with the promise of vodka, while Kevin goes to Angela's party for the brownies and cupcakes. Most everyone ends up at Pam and Karen's more fun party, where Roy and Pam are getting along so sweetly, it's almost like they're flirting again.

Can I just say that Roy looks hot for once? What happened to him? His body looks more trim, and the beard is really working. Okay, I'm done.

At Benihana's, Michael and Andy decide to invite some of the waitresses back to the office party. When the two walk in with their waitress companions, Angela demands, "Where's Dwight?" Michael's waitress asks, "Is he the hot one or the giant baby?" "The giant baby," Michael says quietly.

Pam and Karen reconcile with Angela and suggest merging the two parties. Suddenly, Angela is able to locate the power strip needed for the karaoke machine, and we are treated to Kevin's rendition of Alanis Morrisette's "You Oughta Know."

The Pam-and-Jim thing continues, as Pam watches Jim and Karen exchange gifts and then hug, and Jim watches Pam and Roy exchange gifts and then hug. Looks of longing all around, as it should be. Of course, many viewers are rooting for Pam and Jim, but if the writers give us their relationship too soon it could prove disappointing. It's more enjoyable to keep getting these little moments heavy with feeling to let the anticipation build.

In true clueless Michael fashion, he can't keep straight which Benihana's waitress is which. Finally, the two women decide to leave, and Michael tells "his" waitress, "I like you. So much I'd like you to accompany me on a Sandals trip to Jamaica."

She responds, "Nah. I have school," and wheels away Michael's old bike. Soon after, Michael admits to Jim that he'd marked the arm of "his" waitress so he wouldn't confuse them. Jim then makes a speech about rebound girls that clearly parallels his own experiences with Pam and Karen:

"You just had a rebound... Which, don't get me wrong, can be a really fun distraction. But when it's over you're left thinking about the girl you really like. The one that broke your heart."

As the episode wraps up, Michael is on the phone, asking a mystery person to go on the Sandals trip with him. Oscar and his partner walk into the party, see Angela singing "Little Drummer Boy," prompting Oscar to say, "Too soon," and they leave. And Jim tells Pam about the CIA prank he'd decided to play on Dwight. In the last scene, Dwight is on the roof, awaiting a helicopter when he gets a text message: "You have been compromised. Abort mission. Destroy phone." He throws the phone off the roof and hurries away.