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"On the Lot" Recap: Now, This is Just Insulting

BuzzSugar — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 10:31:01 PDT

"On the Lot" has been quite the slog this summer, it's true, but this week's episode was the one that I figured would make it all worthwhile. Three not-that-bad directors were going to pull out all the stops to make the best final films they could, Garry Marshall was going to utter more crazy talk, and Adrianna Costa was going to barely wear clothing. Right?

Wrong. Well, the last two were true, but instead of getting three new films, we got what was essentially a recap. The final three - Jason, Will and Adam - were asked to pick their two favorite films from the season. And then we watched them. Again. With absolutely nothing new except for Adrianna's blabber in between.

I shouldn't be surprised; it's my fault for getting my hopes up about anything having to do with "On the Lot." After all, my whole experience of watching this show has been a lesson in setting my expectations lower. But "rewarding" the, I dunno, 25 of us who are still watching with a finale filled with films we'd already seen is just offensive. All I can figure is that the show ran out of money.

Enough venting. To read about what actually happened and see my pick to win,

read more Will picked Glass Eye and The Yes Men (both were fine, but if I were him, I'd have picked Lucky Penny and Unplugged). Jason went with Eternal Waters and Sweet, the only film of his I've actually liked (and at least I didn't have to watch Getta Rhoom again). And Adam picked Dough: The Musical and Army Guy, which were not only my two favorite films of his but also two of my favorites of this whole sorry season. I'm rooting for Will, but if I were choosing based on last night alone, I'd have to give it to Adam. What did you think? Was anyone else as insulted as I was? And how excited are you to see Spielberg show up - tail between his legs, I hope, ashamed for what a wreck this show turned out to be - next week? Photos courtesy of Fox

"On the Lot": The Logline Challenge

BuzzSugar — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 09:30:00 PDT

This week's episode of "On the Lot" started with a somewhat shocking elimination: Zach, the director who honestly seemed most likely to win from the very first week of the competition, was eliminated after last week's vote. Yes, I said his movie last week was one of my least-favorites, and I think Zach made a strategic mistake by making a not-great sequel to an even worse original film. On the other hand, I think he's one of only a couple of the "On the Lot" contestants who I think could actually have a career in Hollywood, and it's unfortunate that he won't be there at the end.

The remaining four guys were tasked with making a film based on a logline submitted through the logline challenge the show has been running all season: a guy wakes up wearing a dress with no memory of the night before. I was pleasantly surprised at the variety of films that came from the logline; I think all four directors realized they needed to move beyond "hey, it's a dude in a dress!" and actually give us a story. The guest judge, by the way, was F. Gary Gray of Friday and The Italian Job. As for the contestants' films:

Will started off the night with The Yes Men. He said he wanted to focus more on the people around the man in the dress and go for something Coen Brothers-esque. I did get a little Hudsucker Proxy out of it, and there definitely was a man in a dress, but he really didn't deal with the second part of the challenge (about the guy not remembering what happened the night before) at all. Still, it had a cool screwball feeling to it. Carrie liked the dialogue and the fact that Will didn't feminize the man in the dress; F. Gary said it was well-designed and funny but he wanted a little more punch at the end; Garry said everyone was funny, from the lead to the supporting players, and that's a compliment to the director.
Sam followed up with Dress for Success. His interpretation featured a bunch of women getting revenge on their sexist, sexually harassing boss by making him wear a dress and heels while performing menial office tasks and, for some reason, walking on a treadmill while getting smacked on the butt. He emerges having been taught a lesson ... except then he suddenly starts sexually harassing guys instead. Something just felt off about the film, whether it was the pace or the tone, and I think he tried to hard for his big punchline at the end. Carrie said it wasn't original enough to separate it from other office films; F. Gary said the torture scenes and office scenes felt like two different movies, and Garry liked it fine but said it probably needed to be a bit better at this stage of the competition.

Two more films, so

Adam's film, Army Guy, involved stunt doubles, an actor and an actress playing multiple characters, and a fight scene that included literally taking someone's head off, as well as some baffling dialogue and an odd penis joke. I was completely confused until the big reveal at the end that the film's actual conceit was kids playing with a dollhouse; then, the film started to seem strangely brilliant, and I actually rewound to watch it again. Carrie said it was the most innovative film of the competition; F. Gary called it Fellini-esque but wished the audience had gotten a little more something to hold onto; Garry got to use the word "crotchsicle."
Jason finished off the show with Oh, Boy, about a guy who gets revenge on his high school nemesis by putting him in a dress, strapping a bomb to him and ordering him to do various embarrassing things - except it's not the nemesis after all. It had the trademark Jason cringe moment for me (this time a sex joke), but I have to give Jason credit for managing to tell a complete story, even when it's not a story I particularly relate to. Carrie and Garry both said that Jason is good at capturing his particular world; F. Gary said the movie seemed a little safe, but Jason has definitely improved.

Judges' favorites: Carrie: Army Guy F. Gary: Army Guy Garry: Army Guy I actually have to agree with them, though I don't think I was as in love with Army Guy as they all were; Will's film would be a relatively close second for me. My least favorite on the night was Sam's, and given that he was the only one to get truly negative feedback, I'd say he should be worried about going home. And that's (almost) a wrap - next week is the final competition round! Who's excited? Who's still watching? And which contestants do you think will be there at the end?

"On the Lot": Five Ford Commercials ... Er, Road Films

BuzzSugar — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 09:33:42 PDT

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that this week's "On the Lot" was sponsored even more generously than usual by Ford. The five remaining directors all made films about the wonders of the open road - and, it would seem, the wonder of driving Ford vehicles on it. At one point, Adrianna Costa even stood like a showroom model next to one giant SUV, just in case we weren't getting the message.

Before we could get to the "road films," we had to see who was going to be eliminated after last week's comedies. Adrianna told the gang that Zach and Andrew had the fewest votes, but Zach just barely nosed ahead out to stay in the competition. Jason, meanwhile, won the box office tally again; as a reward, he got to work with Jerry O'Connell this week. Hmmm ... blessing or curse?

This week's guest judge was Gary Ross of Seabiscuit. The other Garry was mysteriously absent, but his sister Penny filled in instead, showing that babbling runs in the family. As for the five new films:

Adam started off the night with Driving Under the Influence, about a car stereo that makes people dance against their will. I think Adam's really at his best when he does things with dancing, for whatever reason, though I thought the ending was ridiculous. Carrie agreed that Adam rocks at the dancing, Gary thought it worked, and Penny was about as coherent as Garry typically is.
Sam came next with Backseat Driving Test, about a young man whose mother is an insufferable backseat driver. She gets sent to backseat driving rehab, which seems to consist mostly of being driven around a course at high speed with dust flying everywhere. It was a lot of driving effects and not a lot else, in my opinion. Carrie said it was Sam's best movie, while Gary was impressed with the effects and Penny smiled a lot.

Three more, so

Zach apparently wants to get kicked off, because he came back from his near-elimination with a sequel to the film that almost did him in, Bonus Feature 2. It did have something more of a story than last week's, it's true, but I also would never classify it as a "road movie," thus putting him into some dangerous Marty Martin-esque territory. Carrie said it was better than last week's and babbled some stuff about Zach being extraordinary, Gary thought it was good storytelling, and Penny said Zach took the notes from last week and came back with a better film.
Jason got the prize of putting Jerry O'Connell in his film, The Move. I'm kind of confused; it was either about a guy moving or about a prank Jerry O'Connell's character played on a friend, and I'm honestly not sure which. Carrie was confused too, Gary said it was well shot but the big reveal at the end made no sense, and Penny may or may not have made a racist comment about Asian people(?).
Will finished things off with Road Rage 101, about a guy who beats up on his car while he's stuck in traffic - until the car starts to fight back. Fox is clearly hammering on Will being the sentimental favorite, as his intro package again mentioned that this is Will's last chance in film, but this was not one of his best. Carrie mostly praised Will's earlier work, Gary was impressed with some of the technical stuff but wished we'd learned more about the character of the car, and Penny said she didn't understand why the guy was so mad at the car in the first place.

Judges' favorites: Gary and Carrie picked Adam's, while Penny picked Sam's. As for me, I'd put Adam at the top of my list, while Jason and Zach were my least favorites. I would think Jason would be the one heading home, but whichever cross-section of America still watches this show seems to love him. Thoughts? Photo courtesy of Fox

"On the Lot" Recap: Six More Comedies

BuzzSugar — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 11:27:38 PDT

Did anybody else notice how many times Adrianna Costa mentioned during this week's "On the Lot" that the winner would be crowned "in just three weeks"? Three weeks! Almost done!

We now know two more people who won't be walking away with the $1 million development deal: Mateen and Kenny, just as I'd suspected. All six remaining directors showed their films tonight, which once again were short comedies. (I guess we're not doing drama on this show?) Joining the judges was Brad Silberling, director of City of Angels, Moonlight Mile and the Lemony Snicket movie. As for this week's crop of movies:

Zach was up first with The Bonus Feature, about a guy who buys a car with a DVD player that transports him an dhis girlfriend into various scenes from classic movies. Basically, it's the plot of the animated "No Time for Nuts" short, mixed with a Disney ride and a healthy dose of Spielberg. Carrie and Brad thought it needed more story; Garry said Zach might have sucked up too much Spielberg but he should be able to continue in the competition.
Adam followed that up with Girl Trouble, about a highly unusual one-night stand. And by "unusual," I mean "cross-dressing." The plot basically centered on one guy trying to convince his roommate that the "date" he'd brought home was gorgeous, and the roommate had none of it - the kicker being that the roommate's fiance was also a cross-dressing guy. Sound funny? Yeah, exactly. Also, it ripped off both American Beauty and The Graduate. Carrie and Garry liked it, but Brad thought it was too over-the-top and didn't really kill.

Four more, so

Will made me love him a little more with Unplugged, a love story between two desk lamps. I've thought for a long time that Will needs to get a deal with Pixar after this, and Unplugged really sealed the deal - couldn't you picture Luxo Jr. being one of those lamps? Carrie loved it but complained again about the lack of dialogue; Brad thought it was brilliant; Garry said ... something about lamps necking.
Andrew made the highly stylized Keep Off Grass, a superhero film with two antiheroes having an argument on a perfectly manicured lawn. The film ends with passionate, tornado-like sex that tears up a lawn, unbeknownst to the clueless gardener. It bugged me that the superheroes didn't destroy anything during the fight, and that was the main complaint the judges had with it too - except for Garry, who just loved it.
Sam made American Hoe, about a couple fighting over the stamps for their wedding invitation after the guy brought home the national farming series stamps (including one that says "the American hoe") instead of the love ones. And ... that's about it. Carrie said there wasn't enough to it, Brad said the characters had nowhere to go, and Garry said the two characters shouldn't have been getting married in the first place.
Jason finished out the night with Old Home Boyz, about a group of aging gangstas who get together for a 50-year reunion and end up having a dance-off to see who will end up with the girl they've both apparently always wanted to sleep with. I must have been watching a different movie from the judges, because I found it nearly unwatchable, but all three of them thought it was fantastic - and, in the case of Garry, even romantic.

When Adrianna asked the judges at the end of the night, Carrie liked Adam's film the most, Brad liked Jason's, and Garry was torn between Will's and Andrew's. Interesting. Only one director will go home next week, and if I were choosing, I'd send home Sam, with Adam and Jason fighting for the next spot on my chopping block. By the way, if I heard correctly, the person with the most votes this week will get the (somewhat dubious) honor of having Jerry O'Connell star in his next film. Um, great. What did you think? Anyone still out there? Photo courtesy of Fox

"On the Lot" Recap: "When Two Worlds Collide"

BuzzSugar — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 09:30:27 PDT

Wow, how quickly does Fox want "On the Lot" to be over? This week, not one but two directors will be eliminated, letting this black hole of ratings suckage limp off the air a bit sooner. Sigh. Remember when I thought this show would be good?

First off this week (which aired on Monday because of baseball's All-Star Game tonight), Adrianna - whom Mateen described as "a harbinger of bad news," and isn't that the truth - showed up at the directors' house to tell Shira-Lee that she was going home. I didn't think her horror film was the worst of last week, but I also don't think it's a bad call to send her home.

This week's five directors had the assignment to make a film based on the trite concept "when two worlds collide" for Carrie, Garry and guest judge Luke Greenfield of The Girl Next Door. To be honest, I thought this was the least-bad week so far, though none of the films had me jumping up and down either. Here's how it went down:

Zach started off the night with Time Upon a Once, which played with direction and time and space and reminded me a bit of the preview for ABC's upcoming show "Pushing Daisies." The story, in a nutshell: New neighbors who do things backwards (literally) move in across the street and ultimately manage to reverse time to keep someone from being hit by a car. There were some very cool, subtle effects (having the actors speak backwards, then playing it forwards to give the idea of a foreigner trying to speak a new language), but it also felt like it was trying a little too hard to be weird. Carrie liked it but said she expected more; Luke said it reminded him of Spike Jonze; Garry said it was "esoterical" and babbled about the dog.
Hilary brought us The Legend of Donkey-Tail Willie, a fairy tale about a guy whose donkey tail makes him a social pariah until he meets a woman with donkey ears who's clearly his soul mate. I thought it was Hilary's coolest-looking film yet, though the fuzzy effect was turned up a bit high - I kept blinking to make sure there wasn't something wrong with my contacts. Carrie was pleased with Hilary's improvement but said it reminded her of Adam's Dance Man (because it had a voiceover, maybe?); Luke didn't love all the details but said the overall impression was strong; Garry said "no jackass made this film," yuk yuk.

Three more films, so

Will's film was called Spaghetti, about a couple who get lost in a spaghetti western. Hey, dialogue! Westerns aren't really my thing, but it seemed like Will did a fine job both satirizing and paying homage to some of their more recognizable elements (the duel setup, the close-ups of people's faces, the sepia tones of every desert shot). Carrie thought it was cute; Luke liked it but wanted a punchier ending; Garry said he liked its simplicity.
Shalini kept describing First Sight as a film about "a woman who learns a lesson in a very unusual way," which is the kind of intentionally vague description that tends to signal a movie is going to be awful. This was basically a public service announcement about a shallow girl who gets a pair of glasses from a blind man that enables her to see people differently. It was kind of baffling (a guy asks her for change to help kids, and she signs a petition but forks over no change?) and generally way too heavy-handed. Carrie said the over-the-top message wasn't her thing; Luke went a step further and said he felt like he'd been burned with the branding iron of morality; Garry liked the positive story.
Adam gave a big speech about doing his own on-set special effects, which seemed like a knock on Zach to me, especially because his film had its share of computer-generated effects, too. Anyway. His Worldly Possession was about a materialistic couple who got a special globe shipped to them from the military (?) and realized they could make things happen on the actual earth by simulating them on the model earth. Carrie said it was her favorite of the night; Luke liked it as well; Garry didn't really get it.

I saw something redeeming in every film this week except for Shalini's, which I thought was bland and way too heavy-handed. I would send her home this week, along with Hilary; though I thought Hilary's film was OK this time, she just doesn't seem as strong as the other directors in this round, all of whom have produced at least one film that wowed the judges. So, what did you think? Is Zach still the favorite to win it all? Is Garry getting crazier every week? Photo courtesy of Fox

"On the Lot" Recap: Six Horror Films

BuzzSugar — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 08:00:00 PDT

Another week, another edition of "On the Lot." Honestly, I complain a lot about the quality of the singing on "American Idol," but even a Sanjaya performance would be more welcome right now than sitting through another batch of mediocre films. This week, six filmmakers took on horror with guest judge Eli Roth, whose Hostel II recently prompted a debate over whether the horror genre was on the decline.

But first, last week's crop of directors gathered back at the house to wait for Adrianna and Garry to drop by with the news of who would be eliminated. Will said, "Adrianna's a very nice person, but I don't want to see her today," which totally sums up how I feel every time I turn on "On the Lot." Turns out, David's awkward film about sexual escapades got him kicked off the show. He was very zen about it, saying that every director has a bad movie, but it's a shame that his was in front of "millions and millions of people." I think that's a little over-optimistic. Also, we learned that Will's film got the most votes last week. As for this week's entries:

Kenny made The Malibu Myth, and we learned that the biggest problem on the shoot was Kenny's aggravating personality. Surprise! Anyway, the film was about a couple who seek out a road where young folks are rumored to be brutally murdered, see a dead body, stop the car, touch the dead girl, and end up attacked by flesh-eating villains. It was probably the best of Kenny's films so far, but remember, that's a list that includes Wack Alley Cab. I thought the buildup was creepy enough, but the actual attack was laughable. Eli agreed with me, Carrie said it was Kenny's most accessible film, and Garry said he was scared.
Sam came next with Anklebiters, a movie that hinged on an ankle-biting puppet. He said he was conscious of the fine line between scary and cheesy, but I really think he came down on the wrong side of this one. The puppet looked like some kind of remote-controlled toy, and the action was exactly the kind of screaming, running around, bloody silliness you'd expect. Carrie said she believed the puppet, Eli said the attack worked well but the prologue gave too much away, and Garry dropped another one of his literary quotes before saying he was scared, again.

Four more, so

Andrew made Midnight Snack, which he described as horror first, comedy second. The basic plot: A woman - who we later learn is a demon - makes a sandwich. I had a hard time being scared because the main character didn't seem to think there was anything weird about the ghosts and monsters all through her house. Carrie said it was more Rocky Horror than horror, Garry said he's a sucker for comedy, and Eli said the lightning and music were so overdone that it seemed like a "Got Milk" commercial.
Jason's film was Eternal Waters, about a kid who died by drowning in the family pool and somehow comes back to save his mother from an intruder. I've been far from Jason's biggest fan, but I thought this was his best film - as well as the best film of the night so far. Its happy ending was a little too saccharine for a horror film, but the cool stylistic touches made up for that. Carrie liked it, Garry loved it, and Eli was too distracted by the mom's tight T-shirt to say much at all.
Shira-Lee, who said numerous times it was her first time doing horror, made Open House, about a house-hunting couple who encounter a ghost in what could be their soon-to-be-born child's room. I appreciated that she attempted a psychological thriller, even though it didn't quite succeed. Carrie said the actors were good but she didn't believe the ghost; Eli said the music was too forced by the ending was nice; Garry said Shira-Lee was better at comedy.
Mateen closed out the night with Profile, about a black man who imagines(?) himself getting beaten by white cops. OK, I get that racial profiling is horrifying, but does that make this a horror film? Carrie said no, but the performances from the actors were strong; Eli said he disliked all the shifting points of view and wished it would have held together better; Garry said it was brave, though it might not be accessible enough. It also had the Marty Martin hallmark of not exactly adhering to the rules of the competition, but who knows how much that matters at this point.

"On the Lot" Recap: Six Short Comedies

BuzzSugar — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 11:03:50 PDT

Sadly, my local Fox affiliate showed baseball last night instead of "On the Lot," so I didn't get to see Mark Waters judging after all. (And the home team didn't even win. Thanks a lot, Giants.) I've done my best to catch up with the clips available on the show's official site, but if I missed anything big, please tell me.

Here's what I gather about the early part of the show: 1) Adriana and Garry visited the directors' house to tell Jess that her horror film from a tree's perspective hadn't flown with America and she'd be going home, and 2) Adriana wore even less clothing than usual. As for the films:

Shalini started things off with Dr. In-Law, about a guy who takes his non-English-speaking father-in-law to a doctor's appointment and spitefully leads him to be examined in a particularly unpleasant way. You know, if I were to have made a list of contestants I thought could get through this competition without making a butt joke, Shalini would have been at the top of my list. But no.
Adam came next with Discovering the Wheels, about cavemen who suddenly have a car appear in the middle of their community and take it for a test drive, only to end up being zapped back and forth in time. I'm sorry, was that just one big car commercial? Plus, in the battle of "On the Lot" caveman references, I still prefer Sam's Replication Theory.

To see my thoughts on the other four,

I really thought Will was going to attempt a film with dialogue this time, but Nerve Endings was another essentially silent film, this one about a surgeon who realizes that by pressing down on different parts of a guy's brain during surgery, he can make the patient kick and dance. It was a little gross but still cute and well-made, with a strong directorial voice. On the other hand, though, it's also starting to feel like I've seen all of Will's tricks.
Hillary made Under the Gun, about a woman who decides to rob a sperm bank at gunpoint (sperm bank, get it?). I keep thinking I expect more from Hilary, but I don't really know why, since it's not like any of her other films have been so impressive. This was my favorite of hers so far, but it still was really over-the-top and didn't make me laugh aloud.
David brought us How to Have a Girl, about a couple that discovers that having sex in certain positions will determine the gender of their child. The gag is that the man wants a boy, and the woman wants a girl, so there's a lot of uncomfortable struggling and rolling around. I thought it was a mess - first too much build-up with too little explanation of what was going on, then too much poorly simulated sex. Eh.
Zach closed out the night with Die Hardly Working, about coworkers who start a make-believe war in their cubicles. I thought this was the best of the night, in large part because of his actors, who really sold their pantomimed gunfire. Still, Zach seems more like the one to beat every week.

So, whose films did you like? What did I miss? Did Garry say anything coherent? Photo courtesy of Fox

"On the Lot": A Night of Weird Movies

BuzzSugar — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 10:29:10 PDT

Well, "On the Lot" just keeps those changes comin': This week, instead of making us wait till the end of the evening to see which of last week's directors would be kicked off, Adriana cut the suspense and just told us Marty was going home. Which means Kenny's still in, of course, but given that two of my least-favorite directors were in the same group, losing one was the best that could happen.

On to this week's films. The guest judge was Wes Craven (shouldn't they have saved him for horror film week?), who mainly served to make Adriana squeak and squeal at the mere thought of Scream. He wasn't my favorite guest judge of the season (that honor still goes to Michael Bay), but he seemed to take his task seriously and provided some good notes for the contestants. As for the films themselves:

Will started things off with Glass Eye, about a guy who loses his glass eye but figures out he can still see through it, which becomes interesting when his dog eats it. Will is so sweet, totally my sentimental favorite to win, and this movie made me smile, despite some slow pacing and a poo joke. Carrie said it was sweet, but Will should make a movie with dialogue next time. Wes thought it was good overall, though he would have changed a few specific things about the direction. Garry said he couldn't be sympathetic to the main character because if a guy wears a wifebeater, clearly he's a wife-beater. Thanks, Garry.
Jason went next, leading into his film by saying he's a Christian guy who just wants to make positive films. Like the ones making fun of the mentally challenged? Anyway, his movie this time around was Blood Born, about a troubled kid who finds out his blood can heal the terminally ill. It was full of saturated colors, tricksy visual effects, and heavy moralizing - and did anyone else hear the audience start laughing when the main character got a gun pulled on him? Ouch. Carrie and Wes said they both were unclear on what the lesson was supposed to be, and Garry said an uplifting ending might have worked better.

To see how the other three fared,

Zach said he wanted to do something without so many special effects this time, so he came out with Sunshine Girl, about a little girl who's afraid of the dark and decides to capture the sun, inadvertently plunging the rest of the world into darkness. It was technically beautiful and restrained, though I thought it was a little too Hallmark-card saccharine. Carrie said it wasn't as good as his other stuff, but she still liked it; Wes called Zach a true filmmaker; Garry rambled something about England.
Mateen made a film called Lost, and I'd love to tell you more about it, but I honestly stopped paying attention about halfway through, because I was about to fall asleep. Basically, it was one long dialogue scene between ex-lovers, where the woman revealed she'd gotten married just before the guy could propose. Carrie said the dialogue was good but Mateen should have given it a third act; Wes didn't understand the woman's motivations; Garry said it looked a little too much like a soap opera.
Jessica finished off the night with The Orchard, "a horror film from a tree's perspective." If that sounds like some wacky, experimental student-film nonsense to you, well, you're exactly right. Carrie said, and I quote: "That was my least favorite thing next to adolescence and being left by a man for a man." Wes said it would be great for an audience of trees, but it totally wouldn't fly with people. Garry said he wanted the tree to fight back.

All three judges picked Sunshine Girl as their favorite. For me, it was a close call between that one and Glass Eye. As for who I'd send home: Jessica, in a heartbeat. What about you? Are you backing Zach? Did you think Marty deserved to go? Anyone else think Carrie said some surprisingly awesome things this week? Care to speculate on where Adriana Costa's microphone went after the opening shot? Fire away! Photo courtesy of Fox

"On the Lot": Trever Leaves - Please Let Kenny Be Next

BuzzSugar — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 09:26:18 PDT

I suppose it wouldn't be a Fox reality show without an insanely drawn-out elimination, and that's exactly how the latest episode of "On the Lot" rolled. Within the first few minutes, we learned that Hilary and Trever were the bottom two from last week - what did I tell you? - but then we had to wait all the way to the end of the show to find out who was actually gone. At least it was an hour of movies and not filler. In the end, Hilary lived to direct another week, while Trever said his goodbyes. Whatever will Adrianna do without her man candy?

This week's guest judge was David Frankel of The Devil Wears Prada fame, who continued the trend of guest judges offering actual insightful criticism (ahem, Garry and Carrie). As for the films themselves, I thought this week's crop was pretty mediocre - not a Dough: The Musical in the bunch.

Adam was first up with Polished, about a janitor who plots revenge on those who take him for granted. He tells us he had to plan his wedding at the same time he shot this movie, and yet he said it turned out to be the best thing he's ever done. I loved his main character, but the movie dragged a bit for me. Carrie thought it was sweet; David said it wasn't even Adam's best film of the competition; Garry said it was very, er, polished.
David went next with Love at First Shot, about a nerd who hires Cupid to intercede during a bad date. It was nice to look at, but the movie didn't make me laugh once. And really, people, what's with the poo jokes? Carrie said it was too derivative; David said it wasn't funny; Garry said it was a universal story but the pacing was off.

To see how the other three directors fared and hear who I think will be heading home,

Shira-Lee gave us Beeline, a movie about a single mom getting back into dating, starring a kid payed by her own son. It was a pretty tired story, but I loved the idea that a mom in a puffy coat and silly hat could be getting that much action. Carrie said she should have just called it Slut Mom; David said it made him laugh; Garry said he loved the New York shots and the pacing.
Marty - who seriously needs to stop being such a pompous ass - made Dance with the Devil, a thriller of some sort. Visually, it was pretty awesome with all the green tones and sudden motions, but I don't know what was up with the random subtitling or the baffling story. Carrie said the style was strong but distracting; David said if he wants to be Spielberg he has to tell Spielberg-sized stories, and this wasn't one; Garry said he should go deeper into the characters next time.
Kenny "Wack Alley Cab" Luby finished out the night with Edge on the End, about a kid who has a crisis following the death of his father. I thought it simply reeked of student film, with pseudo-deep imagery of waterfalls and smashing beer bottles. Carrie pulled out the Paula Abdul "criticism" technique by telling him he was cute; David said it was more music video than movie but showed talent; Garry quoted Proust, then told Kenny to stay unique.

If it were up to me, Marty or Kenny would be going home, but my instinct says Kenny will get the emo teen vote and Marty will slide by on his style. So, realistically, I think David will be out next week. What did you think? Any standouts? Any obvious bombs? Thoughts on why the guest judges are so much better than Garry and Carrie? Photo courtesy of Fox

"On The Lot": Finally Getting It Right

Molly — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 16:17:42 PDT

"On The Lot" totally heard BuzzSugar's pleas! Not only was Michael Bay, the guest judge in the house to promote Transformers (heard of it? It's a little indie film coming out sometime this summer), surprisingly helpful and critical, but I think they've finally found a format that works!

So, the next three episodes will each feature films from 5 of the final 15 directors. At the beginning of each episode, they will kick off one of the directors from the week before. I was confused at first, but I think this is the best possible way to have it work as a once a week thing with no official elimination show, at least while there are still so many directors in the competition. Does that all make sense? Good.

For some reason Costa tried to make it all suspenseful as to which directors were presenting last night. Why? I do not know, because I'm pretty sure all the directors knew beforehand and only those 5 made movies this week.

First up was Sam, who we learned was responsible for briefly popular viral video "Lazy Monday" (a response to SNL's "Lazy Sunday" sketch) which oddly enough starred fellow OTL finalist Adam. Sam's movie was called Broken Pipe Dreams and was about a guy who drops the engagement ring (that is is presumably meant for a girlfriend, but we never get that far) in the toilet and is forced to confront some toilet-based demons. It was alright, Carrie Fisher loved it, Bay thought it needed tighter editing, Garry Marshall rambled something about the bathroom. My favorite part was the dog.
Next up was Trevor, whose cuteness Adrianna Costa can't stop talking about. His movie, Teri (Blind Date), was about a blind date. Thrilling stuff. Carrie hated it. At this point I was forced to admit to myself that I kind of appreciated Michael Bay's presence. I never thought I would say that. He didn't much like the story, or the photography. Garry Marshall was, clearly, in another world and rambled something.

To hear about the rest of the movies, and my prediction for who will get the boot just

Hilary's movie The First Time I Met the Finkelsteins was crass, but I thought mediocre. Carrie Fisher thought the camera angles were too tight. Michael Bay called it a "groaner" (laughing at her instead of with her)...yikes. Garry Marshall didn't like the camera work either, but appreciated the line about "Kelly straddling a brisket." Of course he did.
Next up was Adam, whose movie Dough: The Musical was utterly fabulous. He pulled off a musical, and a funny one at that. Carrie gushed. Micheal Bay liked it but didn't think it was eye-catching enough. I'm not sure Garry Marshall understood it.
Last up was Shalini, who made a short documentary called Laughing Out Loud: A Comic Journey about a gay Indian comedian in NYC. Carrie loved it. Michael Bay was surprisingly impressed and thought she had the best directing skills of the bunch. Garry Marshall blathered about not really needing a beginning, middle and end.

I think it's between Hilary and Trevor as to who is getting the boot and my money is on Hilary. Garry Marshall will surely mourn the loss of another of the competition's female filmmakers. Also, Adrianna Costa totally had less face time. Good. So what did you guys think? Any stand-out films? As surprised as I was by Michael Bay's totally cocky but kinda necessary criticisms?