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Movie Preview: Towelhead

BuzzSugar — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 11:31:05 PDT

Towelhead (which also goes by the title Nothing Is Private) was one of the movies on my to-see list at Sundance that kept getting edged down by other movies, partially because of other priorities, though I also worried that it would be really disturbing. Now the film, based on the novel by Alicia Erian, has a theatrical release date of August 8 and a trailer that has only made me more uneasy about watching the movie - though also more curious, too.

The story is of the coming-of-age variety, though this one features a 13-year-old girl (Summer Bishil) whose Caucasian mother (Maria Bello) sends her to live with her Lebanese father (Peter Macdissi) in a small suburban town. She begins to explore her awakening sexuality, spending time with a boy from school (Eugene Jones III) and befriending a neighbor (Aaron Eckhart) whose intentions are far from pure. Her home life with a strict and sometimes abusive father only further drives her curiosity about her identity, her sexuality, her place in the world.

Alan Ball, creator of Six Feet Under, tries his hand at directing with the movie, and it seems to bear his signature marks of examining the darkest corners of the human soul while offering glimmers of humor and redemption. I'm both interested in and slightly afraid of this film. To check out the trailer,

Source

"My Long-Distance Boyfriend Doesn't Want Me to Visit"

Tres Community — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 03:05:01 PDT

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I live in Portugal, he lives in Belgium. We first met seven years ago while he was in Portugal for work for a couple of weeks. We dated innocently a few times until I saw his wedding ring. He said that he was unhappy in his marriage and thinking of separating, that he really liked me but I didn't want any kind of contact anymore. Last year he found me on Facebook. He had been divorced for four years and in a few months he convinced me to have a long distance relationship. He visited me twice last year and everything was great all year long, we spoke a lot over the phone, chatted, had video calls. At the beginning of this year he started a new job and very soon our relationship changed completely.

Keep reading for the rest of this dilemma.

Are Money Clubs the New Book Clubs?

LearnVest — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 00:15:41 PDT

Money clubs are a great and fun way to stay on top of your finances. With friends supporting you, you can conquer the world and money issues! LearnVest shares how you can start one.

Thea, 31, a lawyer, lives in Brooklyn, NY. Although her friends are, in her own words, “bright, savvy, awesome women,” many felt lost financially - much like she did. “In fact, almost all of them knew someone else who was in the same financially adrift boat,” she says.

That’s when she got the idea to start a money group.

“The first meeting was held in my studio apartment in Brooklyn,” she told LearnVest. She served pizza and Diet Coke as the group of women took turns airing their money issues and goals.

The women’s issues ranged from needing to pay down credit card debt after an amazing wedding to wondering how to invest in a 403(b) retirement account that she’d left empty for years. “We left that meeting,” she says, “with the same sense of empowerment we often feel in other areas of our lives, but that was usually missing when it came to our financial life.”

Although the women are still working through their money issues and goals, it is, as Thea puts it, “easier to take a journey with a group of amazing friends.”

Are Money Clubs the New Book Clubs?

There’s a reason Thea’s personal experience was so meaningful. Just like book clubs or wine clubs - or book clubs that double as wine clubs - money clubs are groups in which you can learn interesting stuff, discuss it, and get support from like-minded friends. And maybe even add alcohol to put people at ease.

In fact, while they’re now becoming popular again, money clubs have actually been around for a long time. Many groups of women in cities across the US meet up informally, but Candace Bahr, founder of the Women’s Institute For Financial Education, or WIFE, formalized the money club concept, creating the organization’s trademarked version back in 2004.

Read on for more.

31 Days of Spring Cleaning: Perform a Social Media Audit

Kelly Schwarze — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 12:41:36 PDT

Sign online in the morning and it's likely your first stop of the day is a social network. We pour our lives into these digital communities, sharing party photos, funny videos, and clever status updates. Do you know who's looking at all these updates, though? Take today's Spring cleaning tips as the chance to finally update your social media privacy settings and take charge of the online image you're sharing with the world. Perform a social media audit by following these tips to put your best profile forward.

Search yourself - Sign out of every social media account and view how your profile looks to a stranger. Does any embarrassing or questionable material show up that you'd rather future employers, family members, or anyone of significance not see? First, secure your public accounts if you prefer to control who sees your tweets and "likes." Update account privacy settings to further secure your profile from people you are already linked to, or play it safe and delete the material entirely. Go an extra step and Google your name to ensure there's really nothing wild out on the Internet you don't want others to see.
Use a pseudonym - If you're looking to keep your online activity private, don't sign up for accounts under your full name. Also avoid usernames you used before privacy was a concern, you know, like that AIM handle from high school that's just slightly inappropriate for anyone over the age of 16.
Use an alternate email - In addition to the alias, separate your social media accounts from your work and personal email by using a secondary email account in your profile information. This way people searching for your profile via your personal email address won't find you as easily. Don't worry if your Facebook or Pinterest account have already been created, you can change the default email address.
Prevent future offenses - Avoid future online embarrassing moments by keeping your social record clean. Don't add photos of you raging at a party to Facebook or bite your digital tongue when it comes to ranting about a current work situation. Even with hypersecure privacy settings, a good rule of thumb is just never share images or thoughts online you wouldn't want forwarded to someone else, since anyone can screen capture your content.

Grey's Anatomy Rundown, "Have You Seen Me Lately?"

Becky Kirsch — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 09:37:28 PST

The line between Private Practice and Grey's Anatomy blurs once again this week, as Cooper's baby mama Erica is brought into Seattle Grace with a life-threatening brain tumor. Naturally, Derek is the man to see, but the twist is that his kid sis Amy is the one trying to convince him, and it's only a few minutes before the two are fighting like, well, brother and sister.

Derek and Amy aren't the only ones who are sparring though; Owen and Cristina spend the entire episode quibbling in a therapy session. Other than that, the episode is kind of blah: heavy on patient craziness, low on doctor-to-doctor drama. Ready to break it down? Just

Amy's fresh out of rehab and trying to get Derek on board with a seemingly impossible surgery. For the sake of Cooper's son, Mason, Amy wants to perform surgery on Erica. Derek immediately shoots her down, and when Lexie tries to intervene, Derek reveals that he's worried about her emotional attachment to the case and doesn't want to see his sister fall off the wagon. Lexie wears him down though, and he and Amy figure out a viable solution.
Things aren't looking so hot for Owen and Cristina's relationship. Throughout the episode we see snippets of their arguments, which mostly revolve around Cristina's abortion and eventually turn to Cristina's relationship with Meredith. Then, they hit the nail on the head: Owen, not Meredith, should be Cristina's "person." It's not exactly a breakthrough for the couple, and they're on opposite sides of the couch when their session draws to a close.
Dr. Webber notices that Meredith is a little behind in her studies, so he approaches Callie about it in a very mafia-esque scene while they're scrubbing in. Though Callie is skeptical at first, she agrees to take Meredith under wing and show off her top-secret study plan. Nothing like a dude with his hand stuck in a meat grinder to bring doctors together, eh?
Karev gets some career affirmation from Arizona. It's no surprise that he uses his interns as study buddies, since Alex cares little about anyone but himself, but he has an epiphany when one of his interns goes into early labor. Realizing that he never even bothered to learn his name, Alex beats himself up about being too self-absorbed. Arizona is still in his corner though, and she assures him that he's proving that he has what it takes to be a pediatric surgeon - but his social skills could use a little improvement.

What'd you think of this week's episode? Were you bored or hooked?

"I'm Having Doubts About My Fiancé"

Tres Community — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 03:05:00 PST

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years now and we are engaged. He is about to turn 27 and me 24. When I met him I was crazy over him, he was nicest most honest man I had ever met. I did everything I could to win his love and well I did. But as we became bf and gf I started noticing that he took too long to do things, like for example, he took long to tell his parents about us. His parents are the pastors at the church I go to. Then also it took him a long time to start showing me off as his gf. I didn't mind at first cause I know how things are at church and how it's better to keep this stuff private but after a while I did tell him that it was taking him too long to introduce me as his gf to the church. He finally did it.

Long story short, I was dying for him to propose, I wanted a wedding sooooo bad! I felt lonely, I felt so ready to start a life with him and even though he would talk about it all the time he didn't make a move! So I kind of started throwing hints here and there that I was ready for it and I wanted him to make a move. When I saw that he wouldn't I told him I wasn't sure I wanted to be in this relationship anymore and that I wanted more and he was just not giving it to me, but I didn't want to break up with him I was just letting him know how I felt.

A few weeks after that he proposed. I will not tell you about that because it was absolutely not what I had hoped for and I really felt like he was just trying to get it out of the way. When I told him how I felt he said he "didn't go all out" because he thought that anything would do it as long as he proposed and that I was gonna take it any way it came. I wasn't happy about it, I cried and cried and felt not worthy of a real proposal and I felt so bad. I tried to let it go but since then I just don't feel the same about him.

We have never had sex, we wanted to wait until we are married. I was so excited about a wedding at first, we started planning and looking for venues and all that stuff. We have been a little intimate a few times after we got engaged because it was really hard to be next to each other and not touch each other but nothing out of line, never. But lately I'm just not excited about anything anymore. I told him I thought I was ready but I'm really not and that I want to wait on this wedding stuff a couple of years. We started growing apart and lately it's just like I can't stand him anymore, I don't want to kiss him I don't want to tell people I'm engaged and he is super nice to me and tries hard to do sweet things to make me happy but I'm just never satisfied.

Let me mention I was a romantic when I started dating him and would always do sweet things for him and I would have a hard time getting him to do stuff for me, his excuse was that he wasn't used to it. He killed the romantic I was and now I just don't want to do anything for him anymore. I know he loves me to death. But I keep thinking there is more to life. I want that movie kind of love . . . The love that burns inside, that drives a guy crazy for me that I don't have to tell him what to do he just does it cause he lose me. I have a nice guy, he is honest and had a very pure heart but nothing makes me happy and I don't know if I am just being selfish or what I'm soon fused. Sometimes I just want to be single and meet new people and wait for that guy that will sweep my feet off the ground but I might have him in front of me and don't even realize it.

Am I being too hard on him? Or am I living in a fantasy world and this is what love is supposed to be like? I don't want to make a mistake, he doesn't deserve to be treated the way I have lately but I just can't help it. Has anybody ever been in this situation? What should I do?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

12 Things You Should Never Buy Full-Price

Business Insider — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 00:15:25 PST

We're thrilled to present this smart Business Insider story here on Savvy!

With the Internet, helpful mobile phone apps, and retailers scrambling to keep consumers in their shops, there's no need to pay full-price for much of anything these days.

To give you a boost, we tapped a few savvy shoppers for their tips on all the ways you can save.

Theater tickets

"One of the greatest savings areas recently has been the theater ticket business," says Anna Aronovich, CEO of GovernmentAuctions.org.

Even if you're not going to be around NYC to score discount Broadway tickets this month, there are opportunities in nearly all cities to see shows on the cheap.

Some rewards programs like Optimum Rewards cost nothing to join and offer discounts on shows.

Beer

If you're looking to stock the fridge for your next poker night, don't hit the liquor store until you've checked out www.saveonbrew.com.

The company's been featured on a host of deals sites lately as one of the best ways to find discounts on brewski, says Jennifer Davidson, director of operations. (See some incredible uses for beer.)

Read on for more.

Security Tips For Data Privacy Day!

Anna Monette Roberts — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 08:30:34 PST

It's Data Privacy Day, so we're here to give you 10 tips to keeping your computer safe, secure, and totally private. Nothing is worse than having your computer hacked into, your personal information stolen, or becoming a victim of fraud. We've rounded up all of our best tech advice to help keep your computer protected and free from hacker malice. If you haven't implemented these 10 tidbits yet, today is the perfect day to begin to take charge of your computer's safety.

Avoid fraud: Be wary of emails, calls, and log-in screens that ask you to verify all of your information. Always air on the side of precaution when sharing more sensitive information like banking passwords. If a company reaches out to you (rather than you personally reaching out to them), don't give your personal information out. Redial the number or email the company using the information posted on their website.
Set up a hack-proof password: When logging in to websites, come up with difficult and different passwords for each site, using a variety of letters, numbers, and symbols. Change it every couple of months for additional safety.
Double-check your firewall: Most computers have a built-in firewall that protects your computer by stopping hackers and malicious software from accessing your computer via the Internet. Make sure to keep your firewall setting on, and you could even customize what websites, domains, and IP addresses you want to access from your computer.
Forget about free public WiFi: Hackers often create fake networks, titling them "Free Public WiFi" in hopes of stealing your personal data. Even if the WiFi is legit, it's still dangerous to access private information in an unsecured network. Always opt to pay the small fee for a service that requires you to log-in to an official network.
Safely search for celebrities: Googling your favorite celebrities can be a dangerous business if you don't recognize the sites you are clicking on. Many Google results of famous celebrity names lead to infecting your PC with malware and viruses.

See more tips to better privacy.

When Do You Turn Off the Baby Monitor For Good?

BabyCenter — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 08:32:46 PST

We're excited to share this post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we will be bringing you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Kristina Sauerwein about outgrowing the baby monitor.

My friend posed this question on Facebook: “At what age did you detach yourself from the monitor with your child?” She was wondering if she should get rid of the baby monitor for her 4-year-old son who “sleeps with his door open…(and has been) talking/yelling in his sleep soooo much lately, (she) was up almost hourly to check on him.”

I left a comment telling her to retire the baby monitor. Honestly, I never really used our baby monitor much. My husband and I slept upstairs on the same floor as our kids, and I am the type of sleeper who would wake up if one of my baby’s coughed loudly. A monitor by my bedside would have revved my mind and kept me awake. Every little stir would have me evaluating my baby’s well-being and I would spiraled into an motherhood-OCD-worrywart hell.

Besides, as one mom said in my friend’s Facebook comments, if a baby’s stirs or cries are important enough, you’ll know.

That said, we did place a baby monitor in our basement since our baby slept two floors up. But even then, I could hear important cries sans monitor.

As for a video monitor, that would’ve wired me to no end so I never bothered. My friend said she used to watch it so obsessively, her dreams would be about her baby on the video monitor. Another friend said she watched the video monitor until she noticed her toddler boy could only get to sleep if he played with his private part and she just didn’t want to know that.

I will say there are two things I liked about the auditory baby monitor:

Once my husband and I heard another couple in our so-called perfect town fighting about stupid things such as his overgrown nose hairs and her annoying food-chomping habits. We had no idea who these people were so it was rather amusing and we took it as free entertainment. I know, it was immature and bad of us but it was a train-wreck-we-had-to-watch moment.
I never did this but I always wanted to turn the baby monitor on when my husband and his friends played cards, drank beer and watched back-to-back football games. After all the guys left, I’d ask my husband what they all talked about and he’d say “nothing.” Nothing? For six hours? I don’t buy it and so I always threatened to eavesdrop via baby monitor. My husband said all I’d hear is a lot of gas passing.

So tell me: Did you use a baby monitor? What kind? When did you ditch it? Did you ever eavesdrop on anyone or have any funny baby-monitor mishaps?

More great stories from BabyCenter.com:
3 simple holiday cookies to make with your kids
Do you force your baby to nap?
Does working make you a better mom?
9 Hanukkah crafts for kids
Kids birthday parties at home: Yay or Nay?

Source: Flickr User kona99

5 Ways Spending Less Will Create More Happiness

LearnVest — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 00:15:49 PST

We're thrilled to present this smart LearnVest story here on Savvy!

Recently, New York Times columnist David Brooks wrote an op-ed piece about the “Haimish Line.” The Haimish Line is an invisible line sometimes crossed when you go from spending less to spending more - in doing so, Brooks contends, you often sacrifice warmth and connection to attain luxury and space. According to Brooks, “haimish” is a Yiddish word that suggests “warmth, domesticity and unpretentious conviviality.”

An exclusive, white-tablecloth, four-star restaurant where servers disappear and diners are on their Blackberries would be north of the Haimish Line. A small, casual diner on the corner bustling with loud conversations from neighborhood folks talking over each other would be south of the Haimish Line. A new dorm building with a shiny, new, unused lounge would be north of the Haimish Line; the well-worn lounge of ratty furniture that students veer toward would be staunchly planted south of the Haimish Line. The Haimish Line even slices across neighborhoods: densely packed urban neighborhoods where kids run home from school and and people have stoop conversations versus spread-out suburbs of isolated living in separate homes and cars.

Brooks advises that we learn to spend our money well and stay south of the Haimish Line.

I found this essay so compelling because money often buys privacy, space, exclusivity and “luxury”-all of which are the very opposite of “unpretentious conviviality.” In America, the picture of success is a bigger house (where the family is more spread out), moving to the suburbs (with more distance between neighbors), a nicer car (to be more vigilant about spills in), and flying first class (ok, so some things are not worth getting all concerned about “the Haimish Line” over).

Read on for ways to spend less and create happiness.