Wachowski Bros

My eyeballs hurt. My head hurts. I feel tired. Watching Speed Racer has me feeling all the nastiness of a hangover but without any of the hard-partying fun. I tried coming up with other analogies for the experience of seeing this nauseating, candy-colored whirlpool of a movie, with most of my attempts having to do with sugar, dizziness and a resultant sad, empty feeling, but it appears that most other reviews have already done the legwork in this regard.

Some of the descriptions with which I most heartily agree include the following:

• From MSNBC's Alonso Duralde:
  "Imagine someone pouring hot, melted Starburst candies into your corneas, and you just begin to approximate the experience of Speed Racer, an ice-cream headache of a movie."
• From The New Yorker's Anthony Lane:
  "The entire movie, indeed, is what Tom Wolfe would call a Kandy-Kolored Tangerine-Flake Streamline Baby, complete with achingly blue skies, customized deserts, fantastical mountains, and everything from Goodman’s shirt to Ricci’s fingernails daubed in lollipop hues; it makes the world of Pee-wee Herman look like Anselm Kiefer. So how did this rainbow of velocity end up bleached of fun?"
• From Film Journal International's Frank Lovece:
  "It's all a bombastic mishmash that makes you feel like you've been stuffed inside a kaleidoscope and shaken for two hours."
• From The New York Observer's Rex Reed:
  "I can sit through just about anything, but I draw the line at two hours and 15 minutes of fuchsia vomit. To suffer through this kind of hell, movie critics deserve combat pay."
• And my very favorite, from New York Magazine's David Edelstein:
  "The film is like a nightmare in which you’re trapped in an arcade with screens on all sides and no eyelids."

So, you're probably getting the picture, but still, read more

We just got a couple new full-length trailers for movies that, if watching them in a sober state, are pretty much . . . OK. It makes me wonder if maybe — just maybe — they're supposed to be watched under the influence? I'm just speculating here.

After the jump you can find both trailers. Opening August 8, Pineapple Express actually features a pair of potheads — played by Seth Rogen and James Franco — who find themselves being chased by criminals. My favorite parts include Craig Robinson (Darryl on The Office), who's funny even without playing someone with the munchies.

We'd already gotten a tripped-out teaser trailer for Speed Racer, and the full-length trailer is a lot of the same: psychedelic visuals, bright candy colors, cartoon-y characters (since it's, you know, based on a cartoon). I'm more interested in this one because it's just mesmerizing, though I do have to wonder what it might be like to view this film in, shall we say, an enhanced state.

To see what I'm talking about, read more

• This super-hot (and super NSFW) R-rated clip from Shoot 'Em Up on IESB made me blush and laugh at the same time. Consider yourself warned!
• Thanks to Stereogum, I got to listen to The Decemberists' full-length version of "Little Boxes," the theme song to "Weeds." It's delightfully ghoulish.
• Vulture has 10 questions inexplicably omitted from the "Kid Nation 2" application.
• The MTV Movies Blog has an interview with Daniel Radcliffe in which he discusses that full-frontal nudity in his upcoming Broadway production of "Equus."
• Want to see Paul Reubens in costume for "Pushing Daisies"? Head over to The Pie Maker.
• Cinematical ponders the sex operation that has changed the Wachowski Brothers into... well, the Wachowski brother-and-sister.
• TV Squad shares my bafflement about Ryan Seacrest possibly singing at the Emmys.
• Popwatch shows us a hilarious spoof of "24" in which the super liberal characters feel justified in torturing people as long as it's for a good environmental cause.
• The TV Addict wonders if reporters crossed the line by gushing over ABC's fall shows.
• ComingSoon has the most adorable interview ever with Kristen Bell and Jason Segel (of "Freaks and Geeks") on the set of their film Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

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