Law and Order

There's nothing better than something trying to be serious that is so dumb you have to laugh in its face. Take Law & Order: SVU. The folks at Videogum found a hilarious clip from a recent show about an exotic animal smuggling ring that smuggles gibbons into the country in order to make chopsticks out of them. (For all you doubters out there, they say, "For realz.") Besides the incredibly bad acting (or maybe good acting — it must've been hard to keep a straight face), the second-best moment comes when the dude figures out that the gibbon is inside the basketball, and is forced to say: "The monkey is in the basketball." To which his partner replies, "I'm on it." The best moment? When the gibbon emerges from the basketball and gives its rescuer a hug. Watch and be amazed. (I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Maybe I have a chance as a screenwriter after all.)

• Lipstick Jungle will move to Fridays starting Oct. 31, and Law & Order will take its place on Wednesdays starting Nov. 5. — The Futon Critic
• AC/DC's Black Ice has nabbed the No. 1 spot on the new UK album chart. — Billboard
• Warner Bros. has acquired rights to turn the Japanese action thriller anime Ninja Scroll into a live action feature, with Leonardo DiCaprio's production company producing. — Variety
• Starz will air a 13-episode series based on the story of Sparticus, produced by Sam Raimi. — The Hollywood Reporter
• The Messenger of Peace, a drama about the life of the Prophet Mohammad is about to go into production, and will be only the second English-language film of its kind ever made. — Reuters
• Common's new album is now set for release in December. — Billboard
• A&E has ordered a second season of The Cleaner. — Entertainment Weekly

Photo courtesy of NBC

• The New York Daily News reports that David Letterman will have his beard shaved on the air on Monday's show; too bad the beard had just gotten the keys to the city.
• Meanwhile, Jay Leno might be in trouble for writing his monologue on Wednesday's show, MarketWatch reports.
• ComingSoon is saying the next Superman movie may be without both director Bryan Singer and star of the show Brandon Routh.
• According to E! Online, the Jonas Brothers have signed a two-year, multimillion-dollar deal with touring company Live Nation.
• Former American Idol Taylor Hicks has been dropped from his record label, Entertainment Weekly reports.
• Theater owners say Johnny Depp made the most money for the multiplex in 2007, writes The Hollywood Reporter.
• Law & Order creator Dick Wolf wants to make a British version of the series, Zap2it reports.
• Netflix wants to bring movies straight to your TV, no mailing envelopes necessary, reports the New York Times.
• Mary J. Blige finally bumped Josh Groban from the top of the charts, Billboard reports.

Photo courtesy of CBS

Created by Chick BokBugock, this chicken spin-off of Law & Order just goes to prove how versatile the L & O formula is! Just think of it as a silent film, but with chickens bok-bugocking.

We've been hearing it since even before the Hollywood writers' strike officially began last month: No writers means more reality TV, more game shows, and more series the networks weren't sure they wanted at all.

Now there's proof.

CBS has released its schedule for January and February programming, and pieces of NBC's plan are emerging as well. So far, it's good news for fans of Law and Order and Big Brother . . . and not so great for everyone else. Some of the plans:

• Law and Order will air Wednesday nights starting Jan. 2. Law and Order: Criminal Intent, which NBC pawned off to USA for the fall, will return to NBC on Jan. 9. The CI episodes will be the same ones that have been airing on USA.
• The first-ever non-summer edition of Big Brother will air Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Sundays starting Feb. 12.
• Also returning Feb. 12: Jericho, which was given seven more episodes after fans launched a nut-buying campaign in the spring.
• The New Adventures of Old Christine will take over the 9:30 p.m. slot in the Monday comedy lineup starting Jan. 28. It will be joined by The Captain, a comedy about the eclectic crowd living in a famous Hollywood apartment building starring Jeffrey Tambor, Chris Klein, and Raquel Welch.

Fox, which is not as hurt by the strike over the winter because of American Idol, was the first to announce its schedule, while ABC's plans are still under wraps. The networks and writers are returning to negotiations today after the producers' most recent proposal was slammed by writers last week. But even if a deal is struck soon, it still looks like we'll be stuck with replacement programming come January.

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