It's one vampire death after another on this week's True Blood, as the Tru Blood shortage starts to wreak havoc on Bon Temps and beyond. Seriously, I can't remember the last time there was such an abundance of vampire guts across the board, from Sookie's foyer to Fangtasia and a few stops in between. It makes the episode's title all the more relevant, but the biggest loss isn't a death, as Hoyt drops a major bomb on Jessica and Jason.
With only a couple of episodes left, things are reaching a fever pitch: Russell and Steve share some intimate moments (thanks in part to Katy Perry), Sookie gets one step closer to finding out the truth about her parents, and Jessica gets tangled up in the wacky world of the Vampire Authority. Let's get into it when you read more.
- Comment most deserving of an "Amen": Sookie tells Steve Newlin to shut up upon seeing his smarmy mug on TV, discussing the Tru Blood drought. We don't get to relish the moment for too long, though, because her quiet evening at home is rudely interrupted by a vampire attack from a former police officer.
- Most explosive death: Poor Molly. Who knew that when she first introduced us to those deadly vampire training bras that she'd be subjected to the technology herself? Bill puts the order in after the security breach, and she's nothing but vamp entrails in a matter of seconds. I have to admit, though, it's kind of a cool scene (maybe I'm just desensitized to True deaths by now).
- Least appealing form of entertainment: The new sheriff of Area 5 suggests that Pam and Tara start up a "two-way peep show" to make some extra money. Gross.
- Most bittersweet farewell: Hoyt is alive, but don't expect to see him hanging around Bon Temps for much longer. After his near-death experience, he decides he wants to start over in Alaska (presumably where there's nary a pig in sight). Jess and Jason are bummed to hear the news, but they're even more heartbroken when Hoyt asks Jessica to glamour him into forgetting the two of them. She agrees, and it's all very Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It's sad to see Jess rewriting the history of Hoyt's love life, but what really tugged on my heartstrings is when Jason makes one last desperate attempt to get Hoyt to stay — and Hoyt has no idea who he is. Jason Stackhouse isn't a man of many emotions, but he breaks down in tears as Hoyt drives away.
- Least bittersweet farewell: I'm ecstatic that we don't have to suffer the horrible new sheriff of Area 5 anymore, because Tara takes him down all by herself. She's not content with Pam's plan to abandon Fangtasia and start a new life as vagabonds, so she pulls a fast one on the new sheriff and quickly sends his greasy hair and guyliner into next week.
- Best comic relief: Russell and Steve slow dance to "Teenage Dream," and it's an amazing moment. Until we see that they've annihilated an entire frat house.
- Worst dads ever: It's kinda funny to see Steve disciplining his "pet" Emma for taking on her human form, but it's mostly unsettling — especially since he tells her that her mom doesn't love her. It's equally creepy when Russell is petting wolf Emma and murmuring to her as they watch Steve on TV.
- Ickiest bloodbath: Nora strong-arms Eric into drinking Lilith's blood again, and once again, Godric appears before them. Eric tries to plead with his Maker, but once Lilith appears, she gruesomely slits Godric's throat, spilling his blood all over her naked body. This seems to turn Eric to the dark side, but I have to believe that he's just playing along and hopefully has a master plan up his sleeve.
- Most foreboding artifact: With Jason's help, Sookie finds a scroll under Gran's floorboards, and they soon learn that it's actually a contract made between one of her ancestors and the vampire that killed her parents. The terms state that Sookie's relative has given the vampire carte blanche to kill the first Stackhouse fairy, who is — wait for it — Sookie.
What did you think of this week's episode of True Blood?