In honor of Cinco de Mayo, the "star" of Machete, the Robert Rodriguez semi-spinoff of Grindhouse, has a special message for you: the movie's first official trailer. The film seems to be in the same campy style as its originator, and the preview is chock-full of celebs ranging from Robert De Niro to Jessica Alba to
Ana Lucia Michelle Rodriguez. As for the plot: Machete (Danny Trejo) is hired to assassinate a senator, but instead seeks revenge on his employers when he realizes the whole thing is a setup. It doesn't really matter though, since you'll spend the whole time laughing at the voice-over and wondering if you really just saw Lindsay Lohan dressed as a nun. Watch it when you read more.