Merry Moroccan Christmas, Office fans! I really think this week's episode is totally old-school Office goodness, which is a great way to end the 2008 episodes. Plenty of superuncomfortable, cringe-worthy moments mixed with hilarious things and Jam cuteness and — perhaps my favorite part of all — another Jim prank for Dwight!
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- Yay! Jim prank! He gift wraps what looks like Dwight's "desk," which Dwight thinks he can unwrap in five minutes because he can "skin a mule deer in less than 10 minutes."
- This is Phyllis's first Christmas party as head of the Party Planning Committee, and her theme is Nights in Morocco. "This isn't your grandmother's Christmas party. Unless, of course, she's from Morocco, in which case it's very accurate."
- Phyllis allows Angela to keep on her desk the camel, sheep, elephant, and the North African king of the Three Kings from her nativity scene, but she sweeps the rest of it into the top drawer. Phyllis doesn't think that lording the power of knowing about Angela's secret affair is blackmail. "I think for it to be blackmail, it would have to be a formal letter."
- The most popular gift for kids this year is the Princess Unicorn doll (yes, she has a website!) — half-girl, half-unicorn. Dwight has bought all of them from nearby stores so that as Christmas approaches he can sell the dolls for a profit to desperate ("lazy") parents.
- He calls the doll "genetically improbable," and of course tries to figure out the science behind how a unicorn princess could even exist. "How does that happen? A king has sex with a unicorn? A man has sex with a royal horse?"
- Michael has created a drink called a One of Everything: equal parts scotch, absinthe, rum, gin, vermouth, triple sec, and two packets of Splenda. He has also mixed vodka with orange juice to make a orangevodjuiceka.
- A man pays Dwight $200 for a Princess Unicorn doll! "Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-ka-ching."
- Michael says to Kelly that this is what every day would be like if she never left India.
- After she gets seriously drunk, Meridith's hair catches on fire, which leads Michael to hold an intervention for her — and an intervention = a surprise party for people who have addictions. "And you get in their face and scream at them and you make them feel really badly about themselves. And then they stop."
- Also, we now know that Michael celebrates Groundhog Day privately.
- In one monologue, Andy claims his nicknames were "Puke" (because he used to get "wicked hammered" so much), "Ace" (because he never let the drinking get in the way of acing all his courses), and "Buzz" (because he got straight Bs).
- Dwight doesn't believe in interventions. "In the Schrute family we believe in a five-fingered intervention: Awareness, education, control, acceptance, and punching."
- Meredith: "I don't mind telling you that I have an addiction. I do . . . to porn."
- Michael asks what is going to happen when someday Meredith comes into work, and she is dead.
Dwight: "I stab her in the brain with a wooden stick." (This is apparently the most satisfying way to kill a zombie.)
- Toby wants to get his kid the unicorn princess. "My ex-wife's gonna be so pissed. And for once Daddy's gonna be a hero." So when Darryl has bought the last doll from Dwight, Toby agrees to pay Darryl $400 for it. He then discovers that the doll is African-American.
- Not gonna lie, watching Michael trying to get a screaming Meredith into rehab seriously stressed me out! It turns out Michael can't commit her to rehab against her will, so he has to find ways to push Meredith to hit rock bottom so that she'll then check herself into rehab. He thinks he can do this because he did it with Jan.
- OMG — Phyllis announces to the room that Angela has been having sex with Dwight! Total awkwardness ensues, followed by a blithely unaware Andy walking in and saying that for the rest of their lives, he will always be there to bring Angela some Christmas cheer. Nobody says anything to him about the announcement.
- Awwww, Andy: "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" And that . . . is the sound of my heart breaking just a little bit.
Photos courtesy of NBC