POPSUGAR Entertainment

24 Is Back! And So Are Hilarious Jack Bauer Jokes

Apr 22 2014 - 10:00am

May 5 marks the premiere of 24: Live Another Day [1], and if all the pictures [2] aren't exciting enough for you, we've got just the thing. Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland [3]) is an internationally recognized badass, and one of the things I love most about the show is the fact that he's completely indestructible. Not surprisingly, his superhero abilities have become an Internet sensation. He's like the Chuck Norris of superagents. Take a look at my favorite "facts," and let me know what yours are!

Source: Fox [4]

If Jack Bauer were president, he would protect the Secret Service.

Source: Random Jack Bauer Facts [5], Fox [6]

If everyone on 24 followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called 12.

Source: JackBauerFacts.com [7], Fox [8]

What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question! Jack Bauer does not bleed.

Source: Random Jack Bauer Facts [9], Fox [10]

You can lead a horse to water, but Jack Bauer can make it drink.

Source: Ottowa Golf [11], Fox [12]

If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

Source: A Random Fact [13], Fox [14]

G.I. Joe plays with a Jack Bauer action figure.

Source: A Random Fact [15], Fox [16]

On Jack Bauer's tax returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependent.

Source: Random Jack Bauer Facts [17], Fox [18]

Bullets don't kill Jack Bauer, because they're afraid to.

Source: Ottowa Golf [19], Fox [20]

Jack Bauer's calendar goes from March 31 to April 2. No one fools Jack Bauer.

Source: Random Jack Bauer Facts [21], Fox [22]

Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

Source: Random Jack Bauer Facts [23], Fox [24]

Jack Bauer has the heart of a terrorist. He keeps it in a jar on his desk.

Source: Random Jack Bauer Facts [25], Fox [26]

Some people see the glass as half full. Others see it as half empty. Jack Bauer sees the glass as a deadly weapon.

Source: Random Jack Bauer Facts [27], Fox [28]

If you are still verbally capable of telling Jack Bauer that he is hurting you, then trust me: he isn't.

Source: Random Jack Bauer Facts [29], Fox [30]

It takes you 24 weeks just to watch what Jack Bauer does in a single day.

Source: Random Jack Bauer Facts [31], Fox [32]

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

Source: A Random Fact [33], Fox [34]

Jack Bauer once stepped into quicksand. The quicksand couldn't escape and nearly drowned.

Source: Random Jack Bauer Facts [35], Fox [36]


Source URL
http://www.buzzsugar.com/entertainment/Jack-Bauer-Jokes-34624865