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What It's Like to Watch American Horror Story When You Hate Horror

Aug 5 2014 - 7:00am

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who love scary movies and TV shows, and the rest of us, who'd prefer to change the channel when the promos for said scary stuff comes on. I am from the latter group, a scaredy-cat who dreaded sleepovers because other people liked to watch horror movies, and as an adult, someone who took a few seasons to watch True Blood. That's why it might surprise you to find out that I watched American Horror Story [1] last season — though it was a trying experience, to say the least. But I made it through, and now I live to tell the tale — in GIFs! Come with me on my journey of bravely watching one of the scariest shows on TV.

Source: FX [2]

I remember when I first heard American Horror Story was coming.

Way back in 2011.

A show about a haunted house? Interesting.

And Dylan McDermott and Connie Britton! They're such nice-looking people.

I could handle it, I thought.

I love twisted TV like Twin Peaks and True Blood.

But then I remembered it was Ryan Murphy. And Ryan/Murphy also made Nip/Tuck.

The Carver, anyone?

I thought about watching.

I really thought hard.

So I decided to pass.

And then I heard what was going on in Murder House.

Like Piggy Man, and the mutant baby in the basement.

Source: The Style Network [3]

And a "rubber man" who rapes people?!

Unsubscribe.

But I also got curious about what was going on.

Call it TV FOMO.

I started asking people who watched what was happening.

So I decided to start reading recaps.

That doesn't mean I wasn't grossed out.

I just couldn't deal with the visuals.

Source: MTV [4]

Finally, I thought, I should just watch it.

But . . . next season.

And then Asylum came on, with its mutilated inhabitants and even more twisted stories.

And I knew I couldn't start watching then.

People were getting sliced and diced.

Source: Nickelodeon [5]

Anne Frank showed up, Dylan McDermott resurfaced to breastfeed as an adult . . .

WTF.

And Bloody Face! Bloody Face is THE WORST.

I had my mind made up about this show.

But then I heard that season three would be called Coven.

I thought, maybe this is the season I'll watch. I love witches!

They're fierce! Fabled! Let's get down with some feminist iconography!

So I decided to watch.

Then I started watching Coven.

The first episode features Madame LaLaurie torturing a man by stuffing poop in his mouth.

And then she sews it shut.

Source: TLC [6]

Then she cuts off his head and makes him a real minotaur.

The voodoo sex wasn't that hard to sit through.

But still, what?

There were things I enjoyed at first.

But why does it have to be so gory?!

At least Murphy got creative, with Clorox enemas and the like.

Who even thinks of stuff like this?

But it just got worse, with eyes being gouged out!

A Frankenstein getting put together.

Source: Lifetime [7]

And then a mom has sex with her son, who is now a Frankenstein.

Someone stabbing her own eyes out.

"This season is actually less gory," other people told me.

THEN WHAT WENT ON IN THE OTHER SEASONS?!

I turned on it. I turned fast.

But I couldn't look away.

I also just wanted to know who The Supreme was.

I made it to the end of the season.

I felt like I needed a shower.

I felt proud for making it through, though. Maybe I would watch the next season!

And then I heard season four would be called Freak Show, about a circus.

I was still on the fence about watching again.

Source: ABC Family [8]

With a scary clown.

Decision made!


Source URL
http://www.buzzsugar.com/entertainment/How-Scary-American-Horror-Story-35307449