On this week's Gossip Girl, Little J breaks into the bigtime, staging a guerrilla fashion show (Dan: "I don't even know what that means!") to drum up some interest in her renegade fashion line. That, naturally, means the black eyeliner is out in full force, along with the influence of Agnes, who — if nothing else — certainly knows how to get press.
Meanwhile, Blair tries to babysit and blackmail her way into Yale, Dan feels inadequate, and some stuff happens with Serena and the new guy, a relationship I'm just really not feeling. Ready to talk about it? Just read more.
- So hey, Jenny's whipped up a whole fashion collection basically overnight and plans to crash a big charity ball with the hopes of getting attention/funding. It's a pretty crafty idea, but it's nearly foiled by her big bro, when Dan walks in on the scene of them loading the clothes out of the apartment, learns Jenny's quit working for Eleanor, and realizes his little sister's gone all "downtown" or whatever.
- Dan can't keep himself from tattling, but he's preoccupied with other stuff, namely that the TA from Yale has apparently failed to get him any letters of recommendation from passing around his story and that Vanessa has been suspiciously avoiding the Humphrey place ever since Nate moved in. Hmm, what could that be about?
- Meanwhile, Serena attempts to make up for the fact that Yale bigwigs find her delightful by setting up Blair with a babysitting gig for the daughter of the dean's friend. Now, I can't imagine Blair being a great babysitter under any circumstances, but taking a 13-year-old to the movies is definitely not her idea of a good time.
- It's not Emma's idea of a good time, either, because she's wrapped up in a full-out contest with some chick named Muffy to see who can lose her virginity first. Their whole conversation is hilarious (Blair: "Oh my God, stop your mouth from moving"), but I couldn't help but wonder if there really was something to that whole racy TV/teen pregnancy story.
- Ugh, especially when Chuck Bass steps in to foil Blair's plans of taking Emma to the charity gala and instead gets her in a cab headed downtown. Dude, at least check for ID first or something.
- Lots of phone blackmail: one of a Gossip Girl spy catching Nate and Jenny kissing (to Dan's dismay), another of Blair catching the Yale donor smooching some guy at the bar. So wait — the donor and her daughter ended up at the same club? That was kinda confusing.
- Love Rufus trying to bribe the cab driver as he's trying to catch up to Jenny at the charity ball. Dan: "Dad, that's a $1."
- Blair and Chuck hatch a scheme to save Emma, generating a Gossip Girl post about how Muffy's "muff" had been "stuffed." First, ew. Second, kind of brilliant on their part. And it gives a chance for a good lesson, c/o Blair, about making sure your first time is with someone you love.
- Oh, and Serena keeps trying to catch up with Aaron, but every time she does, there appear to be other girls around, even on his phone. Yawn. I don't know; this just isn't working for me, whatever old stories of camp and licorice rings it may entail.
- Jenny's show actually seems pretty awesome, with the lights out and flashes of girls dancing on a video screen. Then Agnes comes out, all dangerous-style and kicks over some champagne glasses, and everyone seems to actually be enjoying themselves for some reason. I loved Lily's nerdy dancing/snapping to the music.
- And then, caught up in the moment, Nate kisses Jenny, and Vanessa spots them and flees. Jenny goes after Vanessa instead of staying with Nate, apparently solidifying Nate's plans to get out of the Humphrey household and up to his mom's place ASAP.
- Meanwhile, Rufus turns Jenny in to the police. Which, OK, if Jenny's name was on those Polaroids, are the cops just the dumbest cops ever for not being able to find her on their own? Lily won't press charges, though.
- Blair's speech to Emma about getting her mom's attention is good enough that Emma tells the dean that Blair's the person she'd most like to have dinner with. Yale secured!
So, Blair and Serena are going to college together, Dan's writing to try to make some kind of mark on the world, Nate's off to the Hamptons, and Jenny's braving the mean streets of New York City with nothing but her sewing machine and eyeliner supply. Pretty dramatic ending there. Where will things go from here? Sound off below, and to check out all the clothes, head to CelebStyle!
Photos courtesy of The CW