Gossip Girl Recap: Episode 2, "Never Been Marcused"

Gossip Girl Rundown: Episode 2, "Never Been Marcused"

You guys, Gossip Girl is so freaking fun right now. This season is starting off with a bang, don't you think? Last night everyone was back, including Rufus from his band tour, Jenny from playing in the Hamptons with Eric, and Vanessa who has been watching the gallery and decorating it and turning it into a cafe or something.


Also! Dan and Serena are seriously back together (and by "back together" I mean "getting it on") even though they feel like they should think about it a little since they really haven't explored the reasons they broke up. "Thinking" is all in vain, though, because they are both attractive, hot-blooded young teens who are apparently extremely in need of some sexual healing.

Besides Dan and Serena's PDA, the episode truly belonged to Blair, who's decided she's in love with "the Lord" (haha) and hatches a scheme to impress his step-mother the Duchess in order to hang on to him. Which of course means that Chuck had to hatch a scheme of his own to get rid of him. So much to chat about, so let's get started — just read more.

  • First off, that strawberry that Serena seductively ate on the bus home in front of Dan was extraordinarily large, which took away from the sexiness for me and made me laugh. Hello, prop people, can we get the girl a regular-sized berry? How about a cherry?
  • Secondly, Dan was decidedly less annoying this episode! It probably has to do with letting go of his often self-righteous inhibitions and following his crotch heart.
  • Nate's family drama was back, with his dad on the run and his family in serious financial trouble due to the feds constantly buzzing around them. The scene with his mom was funny too — there was a lot of nothing said other than "Don't worry, I'll figure this out" and "No, you don't worry, I'll figure this out."
  • Also, "I'll figure it out, I just need time" was seriously all Nate said the entire episode. Well, that and, "I just need someone to talk to!"
  • And then he sold his body to the Duchess! I felt so dirty at the end when he took an envelope full of money from her, she rubbed his thigh (ew!), and then he made sad eyes out the window.
  • So, backing up for a second, it turns out the Duchess is Marcus's step-mom, and she's doing it with Nate, and Blair and Nate are exes . . . and apparently there's a book club involved or something? You get the drift. As usual, the only person who doesn't know any of this is Dan.

  • Oh yeah, did you see those huge dogs with Nate's mom? Update: Check out PetSugar's post on the dogs!
  • I loved when the Duchess tried to make Blair feel like, OMG, so middle-class. Blair to Serena: "She made Waldorf rhyme with Spears! I might as well go commando!"
  • I really do think Chuck is pretty irresistible when he's doing good deeds. Trying to help Nate was actually pretty cute, even though Nate was mortified by his friend loaning his mom money.
  • Chuck was also trying to strike up a "bromance," as Gossip Girl put it, with Marcus in order to get to his step-mom and ensure she would hate Blair. Doing evil and good in one episode? The dichotomy of Chuck.
  • Lastly, it looks like Vanessa still has a little thing for Nate. Too bad he's now sold his body (and soul?) to the Duchess. XOXO.

OK, so who thinks Nate should give up his low-life dad to the FBI already? How awesome was Blair last night ("Oh my effing God!")? I wonder if now that she isn't insecure about the commitment levels of her new man, he'll become totally uninteresting to her again. Clearly she enjoys the little chess match she has going on with her true love Chuck. And Serena and Dan: Yuck? Get a room? Or totally cute?

Photos courtesy of The CW

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