Welcome back, Gossip Girl fans! If you weren't still basking in your Labor Day vacation last night, then you too watched the awesome and mostly hilarious premiere episode of season two like I did. True to form, the writers of Gossip Girl packed in a whole lot of plot, and the back-and-forths were at times mind-boggling. After covering the slow, deliberate Mad Men line delivery, it was a jolt to the system to hear these kids talk a mile a minute.
I would do a bit of season one recapping here, but the first three minutes of last night's episode were pretty darn comprehensive, so let's skip it and get to the good stuff. Blair's new man! Nate's Summer fling with a married lady! Dan's writer's block (try not to laugh) and new nickname courtesy of Gossip Girl herself! Jenny's internship and inexplicably awful Devil Wears Prada boss! Chuck's Chuckness! Ready, set, read more.
- First of all, the production quality as a result of shooting in the Hamptons was pretty extraordinary. Some of the scenes were gorgeous, including the shot of Chuck and Blair at Serena's grandmother's house under a grove of trees and the final scene of Dan and Serena on the beach with the fireworks overhead and the adirondack chairs off to the side near the bonfire. So picturesque it was scrumptious.
- I'm still laughing at the way Dan and Serena coped with their break-up. Serena was essentially "sitting Shiva," as Blair observed, and Dan was dating a different girl every night, according to Jenny. Really? Dan the player (or "Playboy," as Gossip Girl would say) is hilariously far-fetched and silly.
- When Blair accused Serena of sitting around moping all Summer watching The Closer I laughed . . . and then felt lame because that's essentially what I did. Crap!
- So, ever since Dan was published in The New Yorker (ha!) he is a hot young talent and spent the Summer interning for his "literary idol."
- Nate's affair with the married lady: not much to say, other than we see his chest a lot, so yay?
- In grown-up news, Serena's grandmother is now on the side of good (helping Dan) and Rufus is on tour with his band and making fun of Jack Johnson. Glass houses, Rufus!
- You know, every heavy, unrequited love-type scene between Blair and Chuck had me baffled. Obviously when they're snapping at each other and scheming, it's a lot of fun, but when the music slows down and Blair sheds a tear, I kept thinking, "Um, am I supposed to feel something here?" Because I didn't feel a thing. Not one thing.
- Speaking of snapping at each other, Blair was full of newly minted Chuck-isms including: "Damn that mother-Chucker" and "Chuck Bass-tard." Language!
- Another amazing line from Blair came when Serena's lifeguard date showed up to take her out: "A honk instead of a knock? Did someone order a townie?"
- OK, when Blair's boy toy started talking in a British accent, I just about died of laughter. Then he said he was a Lord and I was done. So hilariously outrageous, it's hard not to love it.
- And finally, with the help of Eric, Jenny impressed Tinsley Mortimer with her style in front of her really mean boss.
So, here's a question: Did you feel like there were many, many moments that could have ended last night's episode and kept you coming back for more? I felt like right when Serena kissed Nate in front of Dan, they should have stopped right there. Or when Blair's guy said "I'm a Lord," it should have been boom — until next week! Essentially, it felt like two episodes to me, and just like that the Summer is over for the Upper East Siders. What do you think? Are you glad it's all tidied up before the kids head back to school in the city? Or do you think it was a little too breathless?
Photos courtesy of The CW