Transcript
Hi, I'm Shannon Vestil and in Watch, Pass or Rent we're looking at Dark Shadows. Inspired by a 60's TV show, this film stars Johnny Depp as Barnabas Colins, a vampire who rises from the grave after two hundred years to reconnect with his family and battle the witch who cursed him. Welcome home, Barnabas Colins.
How soon can the horses ready? We don't have horses. We have a Chevy. Johnny Depp and Tim Burton have made a lot of great, creepy films together, and while Dark Shadows has many of their signature elements, it's not their best film. What sorcery is this? Reveal yourself, tiny songstress. Johnny Depp is in his element playing a weird twisted character.
And it's really funny when he first wakes up in the 1970's and sees how the world has changed. He's scared of McDonald's. He's confused by TV and Troll dolls But as the jokes start to pile up, the humor really wears thin. You're weird. My biggest complaint is with the story, and that is: there is no story!
The plot is all over the place. On the one hand you have trying to reinvigorate the family business, and then on the other hand you have him kind of falling for a love interest. He's also fighting with the witch Angelic and to top it off there's all these weird Colin family issues. Everything kind of comes together in the end, but by then you don't care.
You're bored. I do have to give credit to Tim Burton, though because the aesthetics for the movie are pretty amazing. The sets, the costumes, and the makeup are all really impressive, and he does a nice job putting a goth touch on the 1970's. But since there's no real story, it all kind of goes to waste.
You may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly. Besides die hard Tim Burton fans I'm not really sure who this movie is for. It's too silly for most adults, and there's a few too many sexual situations for it to be for kids. Still, it has its moments so I have to give it a rent.
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