If you need help coming up with your 2007 resolutions, maybe the good citizens of Springfield can help. Fox put out a list of several "Simpsons" characters' vows for the new year (being sure to mention, of course, that new episodes start Jan. 7). I'm sad they didn't include Bart and Lisa's plans, and I'm not sure it's ever a good idea to take advice from Homer Simpson, but just in case ...
- Homer says: I resolve to lose 10 pounds, and then gain it back by Valentine’s Day.
- Marge says: I resolve to finally learn how to make pancakes that don’t stick to the pan. Bart helped me come up with that one.
- Krusty says: In 2007, I promise not to keep using the same old jokes I’ve been telling since 1961.
- Chief Wiggum says: In the coming year, I resolve to learn how to work the safety on my gun.
- Comic Book Guy says: In 2007, I resolve to boldly go where I have never gone before — on a date with a woman.
- Barney says: I resolve to quit drinking ... coffee. It leaves less room for beer.
- Ned Flanders says: I resolve to be pious and kind and gentle and ... yippee, skippee I already am!
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I love the Simpsons.
1i thought barney was a recovoring alcoholic
2i know he thinks you're fine and stuff but does he know how to wind you up?
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